What...? Tom Cruise To Star On Weather Channel

Why is Tom Cruise hot in the movies? Because of his intensity. It's this very intensity that is making him so attractive to the nation's weather channels where it's so missing. Think about it. Endlessly reporting times, temps, and isobars gets pretty boring. For the forecasters and viewers alike. About the only time these guys get a chance to do their stuff is when they have a storm, a flood or a hurricane to report. Which is why they go so breathlessly ballistic whenever they finally get one to scare us with.

One of the 20th C greatest orators, Winston Churchill, used to write a little note to himself on the margin of his speeches: "Raise voice here, logic weak." Aha, there it is. The secret to virtually all public speakers including bored out of their mind weather-casters: Raise your voice!

Get the connection? This is precisely what makes Tom such a great prospect for the weather channels. His voice is raised almost all the time...he's intense almost all the time...even when the dialog is dumb, he simply kicks the scene up a notch and wows his audience. Imagine how he could excite the nation's weather-watchers into a ratings frenzy.

Come to think of it, virtually everyone on television tonight will be playing Tom Cruise:

* Snow in the local forecast? You don't simply say "40% chance of snow" you stand outside the studio with your coat tight around you and bellow "60% likelihood there are surprises coming!"

* Terrorist attack in Ajerbambam? Be sure to zoom in on the map showing this is "only 3000 miles away from an American naval base in Zanzibambam!"

* Five polio cases reported in Estonia? Give it some pizazz by reminding us "the same disease that killed thousands in America during the 1940s!"

* President spotted having lunch with his daughters on the White House balcony? Wink, wink, "while the president plays, the taxpayers pay!"

* Peanut butter recall in Seattle? Give me a closeup shot so I can end the story with "the very same city which has been engulfed by Japanese Tsunami refuse over the last several months!"

Note from studio executives: Americans get bored with data. They want drama. Welcome to television, Tom, you're a natural!

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