This is a primer for those of us who will be going into a real office with real people….. real soon. There are probably a few things we’ve forgotten since we were there last. I thought it would be a good idea to review what we’ll encounter. It’s been awhile since we’ve worked with gobs of people around…we’ll need to remember a few things…like where the office is; what to do with the car; how to use an elevator; how to greet co-workers, etc.
Here are a few terms that come to mind:
Parking space – outside the office building, park the car between striped yellow lines. Spaces may be hard to come by if you don’t get to the office early in the morning.
St Epheranious – patron saint of parking spaces….start your novena now
Eye contact –an action you do when you meet a co-worker, look them in the eye and say “Hi”
Restrooms – otherwise known as bathrooms, potties, the loo, etc.,.they’re marked “women” or “men”
Co-worker – people we work with….those beings in the spaces around you and who look like their hiding
Cubicle – spaces where you and your co-workers work; four-walled very small, work areas,
Desk – workspace in your cubicle; platform for computer, phone (land line version usually with buttons and a hand set)
Cafeteria – large dining area where you eat with co-workers….if you take lunch at all
Lunch – a meal usually eaten around noon…lasts about 7 minutes…you can eat in the aforementioned cafeteria or at your desk or not at all
Manager – the person who writes your job reviews; gives you direction and provides mentoring, you may seldom this person
Project manager – usually a co-worker who runs herd over a team of people working on various assignments called projects. Most organizations are run by projects which take on a life of their own.
Project plan – a detailed, meticulous document outlining the goals of a project including budget, timeframes and resources needed to complete a said project
Project creep – nice words for a project that is completely over budget with no results in sight.
Bonus – extra money given for reaching goals….don’t count on getting a bonus unless you have a an employee contract….in fact, just be grateful that you have a job
Job security – an ancient idea that holds that if you, the employee, are loyal to the employer you will never lose their job.
Career management – concept that we should always be looking for another job because jobs are not secure and we are not indispensable.
“It’s only temporary” theory – No matter how good or bad your job is…remember that it’s only temporary and if it won’t bring about world peace, it’s not that important!