Tag: parenting

That time I ruined my kid’s birthday

Almost two years ago I penned a post  where I whined about the fallout from kids’ birthday parties; jeers, tears, and beers always followed those overstimulating, sugar-filled two-hour fiestas. I’m pleased to say things have improved markedly when it comes to behavior during and post friends’ parties, however, hosting a shindig continues to be a... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
November 14, 2016 at 10:35 am • 

Skylanders, Lego Dimensions, Pokemon: What the Hell is my kid talking about?

My kid turned six this week. He asked for two gifts for his birthday: a Nerf Zombie Strike gun and Lego Dimensions, a video game to play on his hand-me-down X-Box. I turned to my BFF, Google,to figure out what in Sam Hill this child was talking about. Ultimately, I opted for a single shot... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
August 31, 2016 at 9:35 pm • 

The first three weeks of Kindergarten: What fresh Hell is this?

You know when you (or your partner) is pregnant and everyone asks you about your birth plan? Someone inevitably follows up with, “women have been doing it for thousands of years,” as a (usually well-intentioned) reminder that you pushing that giant watermelon of a fetus out of your body isn’t totally bananas. The thing is,... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
September 24, 2015 at 8:00 am • 
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There's A New Spin On #likeagirl And I LOVE IT

I recently saw Always’ new #LikeAGirl “Unstoppable” PSA and, whatever their motivation, found it extremely compelling. It reminded me that I always need to question how I communicate with kids. Yes, I generally suffer from an untreatable case of “foot in mouth disease”, but I do try to maintain a reasonable level of self-awareness when... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
July 29, 2015 at 10:24 am • 

Sandwich Generation Stories: Uniforms and Panties

Lately I can’t seem to maintain focus on anything. There exists no excuse like a newborn, or an insanely busy job. In fact,  I work from home three days per week and spend the other two hanging out with my kid and thinking about all the prescriptions I need to fill for my mom. It... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
July 22, 2015 at 4:20 pm • 

My kid is heading to kindergarten and I’m feeling all the feels

Well, it’s happened. Like every other kid, mine has gone ahead and grown up. I mean, he isn’t sprouting a dirty ‘stache or anything, but he’s old enough to head off to school. And with this realization comes a whole lot of freak outs on mom’s part. Let’s run through a list of these (sometimes unreasonable)... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
July 7, 2015 at 4:28 pm • 
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Dear Chicago Public Schools: Applying to kindergarten shouldn't make me cry

The application process to enter Chicago Public School (CPS) kindergarten classes continues to wreak havoc on my simple brain. Let me break it down for you. 1. First, I complained about the backwardness of  CPS’ application process. 2. Next, I proved myself to be a GIANT HYPOCRITE by  participating in said system (i.e., applied to... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
April 1, 2015 at 1:19 pm • 

This Week's Top Ten Parenting Fails According to My Kid

1. At 2:30 AM today, I was summoned from Dreamland by a screaming preschooler. I did what any responsible parent would do and covered my head with a pillow. However, his relentless cries finally won out and, after dragging myself out of bed, was told that I “ruined his birthday party by not playing the... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
March 14, 2015 at 7:00 am • 

Fact: The human head weighs 12,000 lbs when resting on one's trachea

My husband is away on a work trip again. Don’t get any ideas, robbers, we have houseguests! Anyway, by night three, my kid usually weasels his way into my bedroom to try to destroy me via co sleeping snuggle. Warm fuzzies, yeah yeah. Without fail, this is what happens every GD time. 4:30 AM – Kid... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
February 25, 2015 at 3:03 pm • 
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I love that my kid lacks a filter

Yesterday morning, after yelling,  “DO NOT COME INTO MY BEDROOM,” my 4 y/o kid, EK, calmed down and went about his morning routine of feeding his creepy fish and pretending to get dressed. He then asked, “[m]ama, do I have a greater brain than you? Because I remember more stuff than you.” Maybe? His memory... Read more »
By Annie Swingen,
February 12, 2015 at 8:39 am •