Tag: parenting
That time I ruined my kid’s birthday
Almost two years ago I penned a post where I whined about the fallout from kids’ birthday parties; jeers, tears, and beers always followed those overstimulating, sugar-filled two-hour fiestas. I’m pleased to say things have improved markedly when it comes to behavior during and post friends’ parties, however, hosting a shindig continues to be a... Read more »
Skylanders, Lego Dimensions, Pokemon: What the Hell is my kid talking about?
My kid turned six this week. He asked for two gifts for his birthday: a Nerf Zombie Strike gun and Lego Dimensions, a video game to play on his hand-me-down X-Box. I turned to my BFF, Google,to figure out what in Sam Hill this child was talking about. Ultimately, I opted for a single shot... Read more »
The first three weeks of Kindergarten: What fresh Hell is this?
You know when you (or your partner) is pregnant and everyone asks you about your birth plan? Someone inevitably follows up with, “women have been doing it for thousands of years,” as a (usually well-intentioned) reminder that you pushing that giant watermelon of a fetus out of your body isn’t totally bananas. The thing is,... Read more »
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There's A New Spin On #likeagirl And I LOVE IT
I recently saw Always’ new #LikeAGirl “Unstoppable” PSA and, whatever their motivation, found it extremely compelling. It reminded me that I always need to question how I communicate with kids. Yes, I generally suffer from an untreatable case of “foot in mouth disease”, but I do try to maintain a reasonable level of self-awareness when... Read more »
Sandwich Generation Stories: Uniforms and Panties
Lately I can’t seem to maintain focus on anything. There exists no excuse like a newborn, or an insanely busy job. In fact, I work from home three days per week and spend the other two hanging out with my kid and thinking about all the prescriptions I need to fill for my mom. It... Read more »
My kid is heading to kindergarten and I’m feeling all the feels
Well, it’s happened. Like every other kid, mine has gone ahead and grown up. I mean, he isn’t sprouting a dirty ‘stache or anything, but he’s old enough to head off to school. And with this realization comes a whole lot of freak outs on mom’s part. Let’s run through a list of these (sometimes unreasonable)... Read more »
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Dear Chicago Public Schools: Applying to kindergarten shouldn't make me cry
The application process to enter Chicago Public School (CPS) kindergarten classes continues to wreak havoc on my simple brain. Let me break it down for you. 1. First, I complained about the backwardness of CPS’ application process. 2. Next, I proved myself to be a GIANT HYPOCRITE by participating in said system (i.e., applied to... Read more »
This Week's Top Ten Parenting Fails According to My Kid
1. At 2:30 AM today, I was summoned from Dreamland by a screaming preschooler. I did what any responsible parent would do and covered my head with a pillow. However, his relentless cries finally won out and, after dragging myself out of bed, was told that I “ruined his birthday party by not playing the... Read more »
Fact: The human head weighs 12,000 lbs when resting on one's trachea
My husband is away on a work trip again. Don’t get any ideas, robbers, we have houseguests! Anyway, by night three, my kid usually weasels his way into my bedroom to try to destroy me via co sleeping snuggle. Warm fuzzies, yeah yeah. Without fail, this is what happens every GD time. 4:30 AM – Kid... Read more »
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I love that my kid lacks a filter
Yesterday morning, after yelling, “DO NOT COME INTO MY BEDROOM,” my 4 y/o kid, EK, calmed down and went about his morning routine of feeding his creepy fish and pretending to get dressed. He then asked, “[m]ama, do I have a greater brain than you? Because I remember more stuff than you.” Maybe? His memory... Read more »
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That time I ruined my kid’s birthday »
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