Posts tagged "humor"

That time I accidently took my husband to a strip club

Back when I lived in DC,  I shopped at Ann Taylor and wore pearls. I mean, they really should have a bouncer checking IDs at that store and boot anyone under 45 for the good of humanity (and fashion). Conservative clothing aside, I liked to have fun. Some dancing at Chief Ike’s “club” with “Hillbillies”... Read more »

People who told me four-year-olds are reasonable are big, fat LIARS

Recently my boss informed me I am now closer to 50 than I am to 18. Thanks, boss. 50 is the new 30, right? RIGHT? But don’t worry, I don’t have time to pout about growing a year older. Why? Because I am an adult and have grown to appreciate life my kid turned 4 last... Read more »

A weird time capsule from my 4th grade self

1. The motorcade
2. "Hi" says President Kennedy
3. A gun shot from a nearby bulding.
4. Hospital
5. Graveyard
6. The end
7. WHAT THE HELL?
SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL do I have a treat for you. It’s not quite how I remembered, but amazing all the same. Here’s the backstory. Back in 1989 (fourth grade or so), when schools still offered art class more than once a never, we were given a special assignment: Create a storyboard out of felt.... Read more »
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Friends are the family you choose

I have been slow in writing lately. I know you are all crying yourselves to sleep wondering what is going on. You know who isn’t crying? This lady right here. Why? Because two people that I love very much are living with us for an undetermined period of time and it’s faneffingtastic (for me, it’s... Read more »

A baby who LOVES Katy Perry and 8 other Internet videos that will make your head explode

A baby who LOVES Katy Perry and 8 other Internet videos that will make your head explode
The world can be a rough place for us working folks.  This mere fact is exactly why the Internet is awesome. Singing babies, singing animals, saucy comedians, tear jerkers – the Interwebs has something for everyone who needs a little pick me up.. Below are nine of my fave videos – share a link to... Read more »

"You cannot use pledge wipes as bathroom wipes" and other conversations with my mom

My mom, Ho-Ho, called me eight times this past Sunday.  Our final conversation ended with, “[y]ou’re a real bitch Annie. Love you. Bye”. This was of course in response to me imploring her to talk to her doctor before she refuses to continue taking a prescription. THE GALL! Ho-Ho’s lovely sign-off inspired me to put... Read more »
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9 reasons I'd rather shave my tongue with a dull razor than go to another movie with my preschooler

Last week I went to a movie with my son. It was nothing like the first time we took him to theater, all doe-eyed, shoving popcorn in his mouth faster than his greasy hands could grab those kernels. “Thank you mama,” he said when we left the theater after his inaugural outing. “Wow!” I said... Read more »

The Kloons are YouTube comedy masters

The Kloons‘ Sisters Strawberries episode might be the best video ever shared on YouTube. As they desicribe it,  ”[t]wo 30 year old guys lip syncing a conversation between two 60 year old women”. And it’s 100% SFW. In fact, I suggest you show it to your boss and you will be the golden boy/girl for... Read more »

7 things that would make me a lot more fun

Quit nail biting. My friend was over this weekend and asked for a nail file. I realized I didn’t have one because I rely on my snaggle teeth to rip off any shred of a nail longer than .25 mm. Did you know you can give someone a cold sore by biting their nails? You can. And then that person (an infant in our case) has to go to the ER because you gave him herpes. True story.
On a scale of 1 to lame, I am a “take the paved road up the side of the mountain” kind of girl. I certainly wish I was more fun…I just have a profound disdain for exercise, terrible habits and am scared of anything that might result in a fine (with the exception of driving... Read more »
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Hot bloggers making ugly faces

My favorite yogi,  Beth Weindruch Prystowsky, <a href=" http://www.chicagonow.com/ups-and-downs-of-a-yoga-mom/about/">  Ups and Downs of a Yoga Mom</a> is your go-to person for lifestyle tips, awesome recipes and help finding your sanity.  A native of the Chicago area, Beth provides great insight into local resources via her well-organized blog. Check her out!
Lately, my Facebook newsfeed has been filled with prettygirlsmakinguglyfaces.com‘s photos. I love it!! Anyone who puts tape on her face and takes a picture for the world to see is A-ok in my book. Just look at this girl’s nostrils skills! Inspired, I took to my fellow ChicagoNow bloggers who I thought would be open to... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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