Posts tagged "caretaking"

Caretaking Chronicles: White Flag Wednesday

All as has been quiet on the mom front since she was released from the hospital a few weeks ago. So quiet, in fact, that I  actually relaxed (sort of) and laughed at the over $100K charged for her three hospital stays during the first quarter of this year. Nuts, right? But fun time is... Read more »

Caretaking Chronicles: Caring for the Caretakers

I am not professional advice giver. In fact, as a general rule, I advise people to do the opposite of what I suggest. Which then, I suppose, actually means they should follow my advice in the first place. Which is a terrible idea. Just call me Vizzini. Anywhoo, here my tips for caretakers when it... Read more »

Caretaking Chronicles: Why Can't Physicians Communicate?

I was going to pen a post about the nine hours spent yesterday getting my mom (aka Ardie Ho-Ho) admitted to the hospital. How she stopped eating and drinking because she was certain she was being poisoned (the food at her place isn’t great, but it’s certainly not lethal.). Maybe note the seven hours spent... Read more »
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Caretaking Chronicles: A Hospital Trip for My Mom aka They Should Block Cell Phone Signals in Hospitals

Sweet mother of pearl have I been delinquent in writing ChicagoNow posts. My excuse? Ho-Ho is in the hospital.  Worry not, she is fine. In fact she is, dare I say, thriving? 24/7 attention? Check. Different people to incur her wrath? Of course! Continual access to not one  but two phone lines on which she... Read more »

Caretaking Chronicles: Tylenol is more effective than Methadone

Ardie Ho-Ho has been on a terror lately…when I say lately I mean the past 12 months. But seriously, I might soon end up in jail. There was the whole guilt over potential dentures, the time her teeth cracked and fell out and I lost my mind on a street corner, and then when she... Read more »

Caretaking Chronicles: The Dental Debacle Continues

Have you ever felt like your head was going to explode? I mean this in the most literal sense of the word. EGGSPLODE. Like, “my wedding gown doesn’t fit and I am getting married in 14 minutes!!” or “my mom’s front three teeth feel out (bridge) and it will cost $4-8000 to fix it!!”? Because... Read more »
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Thursday Night Nonsense: Toddler Games, Ritalin and Canada

It’s nine o’clock on a Thursday! That means I am getting crazy in bed. And it’s kind of awesome. Heads up – the following is a bunch of nonsense. EK is moaning from his bed: “My feet aren’t tight enough. My feet need to be tucked in tighter.” Tough love, friends, tough love. We were... Read more »

Three AM Musings: Dentures, Diapers and Debt

Mr. Swirley is gone for this week. This means the following: - My main caloric source is cereal. Lots and lots of cereal. - There are no milk glasses left on the table in the morning and all of the throw pillows are still expertly placed ON the couch 24 HOURS/DAY. - No one is... Read more »

A caretaker's quiz: Who said what?

For anyone who is a caretaker for their parent(s), they know it can sometimes be hilarious, tragic, or hilariously tragic (tragically hilarious?). Anyway,  it can also be VERY similar to taking care of a kid. Instead of actively bitching about the current state of affairs, I thought I would make it a game where I... Read more »
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An Introduction: Mental Illness and a Pot of Coffee

I call my mom Ardie Ho-Ho. It’s a name she gave herself when she ran away from home at the ripe age of 2.5.A policeman found her attempting to cross a busy street and she coined the monicker when he inquired as to her name. I also call her mom. But I like Ho-Ho better.... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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