Tag: caregiving

Caregiving Chronicles: Difficult decisions and bad hospital TV

I’m sitting in a dimly lit hospital room next to a sleeping mom (Ho-Ho). She’s just been transferred from the neuro unit of one hospital to the acute rehab unit of another. It’s like Groundhog Day ’round these parts; two lesions in four months. ER to rehab to home…and back. Multiple Sclerosis is an asshole.... Read more »

Caregiving Chronicles: I'm grateful for my mom's new brain lesion

It’s been a rough few months for mom (AKA Ardie Ho-Ho).  An MS exacerbation, three weeks of in-patient intensive therapy (PT/OT and Speech), an accidental narcotic overdose (ICU and five more days in-patient) and a second round of mega-steroids during yet another week stay.  Six weeks of hospital Jell-O out of the last 16. It’s also been... Read more »

Murphy's Law is my every day

I embrace chaos. Whether it’s my mom sitting in an unmonitored wheelchair that is slowly snaking its way to the street, or locking myself out of the house for the 20,446,205th time, it’s just how I roll. It’s kind of my calling card that I always misplace. Sometimes, however, I’m not entirely to blame. Sort... Read more »
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The first three weeks of Kindergarten: What fresh Hell is this?

You know when you (or your partner) is pregnant and everyone asks you about your birth plan? Someone inevitably follows up with, “women have been doing it for thousands of years,” as a (usually well-intentioned) reminder that you pushing that giant watermelon of a fetus out of your body isn’t totally bananas. The thing is,... Read more »

Sandwich Generation Stories: Uniforms and Panties

Lately I can’t seem to maintain focus on anything. There exists no excuse like a newborn, or an insanely busy job. In fact,  I work from home three days per week and spend the other two hanging out with my kid and thinking about all the prescriptions I need to fill for my mom. It... Read more »

Remembering Mom: A Cooperative Project

Last week someone asked me to describe my mom before she got sick. However, try as I might, I only have a handful of memories of her before everything went to Hell in a handbasket. Of course, this isn’t some sort of pity party. Well, maybe it is a little…but mostly for her. Honestly, I... Read more »
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8 reasons why I am going to lose my sh!t today

Let’s just jump in, shall we? 1. My mom lost her dental plate. Again. Nerds Smartypants of the world, can you PLEASE, for the love of sweet baby Jesus, invent a bluetooth or homing device for dentures/plates/whathaveyou? These things cost more than the valued place on a Duggar’s v-card. 2. The battery backup for our... Read more »

Caregiving Chronicles: Medicare might give up on mom, but we certainly won't

Guess who’s going to rehab!?!? No, not your favorite celebrity starlet. Well, maybe.  But I’m talking about none other than my mom, Ardie Ho-Ho. Get excited, G-dammit! Since January, Ho-Ho hasn’t walked much. We sherpa’d her to the bathroom enough times to realize that her MS was being a real bitch. Although she was hospitalized... Read more »

Caregiving Chronicles: Only quitters give up smoking

Guess who’s back?! Ardie Ho-Ho…with a vengeance! Technically speaking my mom never left, but she’s certainly been quiet. Or I’ve  successfully ignored her phone calls while focusing on the madness that is the Chicago Public School system. Either way, we’ve enjoyed a welcome  albeit temporary respite from Hurricane Ho-Ho. Yesterday morning, while sitting through the... Read more »
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Caretaking Chronicles: White Flag Wednesday

All as has been quiet on the mom front since she was released from the hospital a few weeks ago. So quiet, in fact, that I  actually relaxed (sort of) and laughed at the over $100K charged for her three hospital stays during the first quarter of this year. Nuts, right? But fun time is... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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