Tag: ardie ho-ho

Caregiving Chronicles: Difficult decisions and bad hospital TV

I’m sitting in a dimly lit hospital room next to a sleeping mom (Ho-Ho). She’s just been transferred from the neuro unit of one hospital to the acute rehab unit of another. It’s like Groundhog Day ’round these parts; two lesions in four months. ER to rehab to home…and back. Multiple Sclerosis is an asshole.... Read more »

Caregiving Chronicles: I'm grateful for my mom's new brain lesion

It’s been a rough few months for mom (AKA Ardie Ho-Ho).  An MS exacerbation, three weeks of in-patient intensive therapy (PT/OT and Speech), an accidental narcotic overdose (ICU and five more days in-patient) and a second round of mega-steroids during yet another week stay.  Six weeks of hospital Jell-O out of the last 16. It’s also been... Read more »

Murphy's Law is my every day

I embrace chaos. Whether it’s my mom sitting in an unmonitored wheelchair that is slowly snaking its way to the street, or locking myself out of the house for the 20,446,205th time, it’s just how I roll. It’s kind of my calling card that I always misplace. Sometimes, however, I’m not entirely to blame. Sort... Read more »
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Caregiving Chronicles: Medicare might give up on mom, but we certainly won't

Guess who’s going to rehab!?!? No, not your favorite celebrity starlet. Well, maybe.  But I’m talking about none other than my mom, Ardie Ho-Ho. Get excited, G-dammit! Since January, Ho-Ho hasn’t walked much. We sherpa’d her to the bathroom enough times to realize that her MS was being a real bitch. Although she was hospitalized... Read more »

This Week's Top Ten Parenting Fails According to My Kid

1. At 2:30 AM today, I was summoned from Dreamland by a screaming preschooler. I did what any responsible parent would do and covered my head with a pillow. However, his relentless cries finally won out and, after dragging myself out of bed, was told that I “ruined his birthday party by not playing the... Read more »

Caretaking Chronicles: Why Can't Physicians Communicate?

I was going to pen a post about the nine hours spent yesterday getting my mom (aka Ardie Ho-Ho) admitted to the hospital. How she stopped eating and drinking because she was certain she was being poisoned (the food at her place isn’t great, but it’s certainly not lethal.). Maybe note the seven hours spent... Read more »
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Caretaking Chronicles: A Hospital Trip for My Mom aka They Should Block Cell Phone Signals in Hospitals

Sweet mother of pearl have I been delinquent in writing ChicagoNow posts. My excuse? Ho-Ho is in the hospital.  Worry not, she is fine. In fact she is, dare I say, thriving? 24/7 attention? Check. Different people to incur her wrath? Of course! Continual access to not one  but two phone lines on which she... Read more »

Caretaking Chronicles: Tylenol is more effective than Methadone

Ardie Ho-Ho has been on a terror lately…when I say lately I mean the past 12 months. But seriously, I might soon end up in jail. There was the whole guilt over potential dentures, the time her teeth cracked and fell out and I lost my mind on a street corner, and then when she... Read more »

Yesterday I hung out with my topless mom and other random musings

Friday random musings. 1. I wish I was a writer for the League. Really, I wish I was friends with writers from the League. Why? Because I want to hang out with the cast (yes, I know they ad lib) to overhear whatever conversations lead to gems like these: – If Sofia and I split... Read more »
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An Introduction: Mental Illness and a Pot of Coffee

I call my mom Ardie Ho-Ho. It’s a name she gave herself when she ran away from home at the ripe age of 2.5.A policeman found her attempting to cross a busy street and she coined the monicker when he inquired as to her name. I also call her mom. But I like Ho-Ho better.... Read more »