Category: obsessions

2017 sucked, but I don't have to

Today I received this card in the mail from a dear friend living the dream in CA. If I were a schmuck (or thief), and pretended it was of my own creation, I would title it “2017” and try to sell it on Etsy or in a Logan Square “general store” for $5.99/each. But I... Read more »

Overboard reboot: Anna Faris, will you be our new Annie Goulahie?

Dear Anna, This is only the second open letter I’ve ever penned. The first was addressed to your boy Eugenio back in 2015 when he announced news of a possible Overboard reboot. Obviously. Anyway, this afternoon I received an email from a beloved uncle with only a link in the body. No other words were necessary:... Read more »

5 rookie mistakes I made as a kindergartner's parent

The transition to Kindergarten can be a sticky one. And by sticky I mean, “HOLY HELL, WHOSE PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?” While my kid settled in just fine after a rocky week or two, I continued to make foolish decisions all damn year long. Because I believe in paying it forward, I’ve got five tips... Read more »
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Stayton the Obvious: Questions about the Overboard remake

Dear Eugenio, Is it too forward to call you Eugenio? Mr. D? Dean? Anyway, I’ve been thinking about your new project over the past few weeks? What project, you ask? The Overboard reboot, obviously. You’ve taken on quite a responsibility and I admire your gusto. As a rabid passionate fan of the original, I have... Read more »

My kid is heading to kindergarten and I’m feeling all the feels

Well, it’s happened. Like every other kid, mine has gone ahead and grown up. I mean, he isn’t sprouting a dirty ‘stache or anything, but he’s old enough to head off to school. And with this realization comes a whole lot of freak outs on mom’s part. Let’s run through a list of these (sometimes unreasonable)... Read more »

30 movies turning 30 in 2015

<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089218/">Goonies</a>. Chunk and the gang are <a href="http://www.thegoondocks.org/30th-anniversary-2015.html">together right now</a> in Astoria, OR doing the truffle shuffle celebrating 30 years of awesomeness. This film defined many a childhood and is quoted on the daily around here.
It’s 3:37 AM on Wednesday morning. I could blame my insomnia on anticipation of today’s arrival of FIVE houseguests; they won’t notice the “hair carpet” in the bathroom, right? Or our wedding anniversary (I FINALLY REMEMBERED!!!!) Alas, nope and nope. Instead, I think I’m just turning into an old biddy. You know what else makes... Read more »
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Dear Chicago Public Schools: Applying to kindergarten shouldn't make me cry

The application process to enter Chicago Public School (CPS) kindergarten classes continues to wreak havoc on my simple brain. Let me break it down for you. 1. First, I complained about the backwardness of  CPS’ application process. 2. Next, I proved myself to be a GIANT HYPOCRITE by  participating in said system (i.e., applied to... Read more »

Going postal! I love you so hard, snail mail

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like, ‘huh? What the hell is this?’ But if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like, ‘this is nice!’ – Demitri Martin I love mail.... Read more »

The CPS kindergarten application process makes me want to put my head through a wall

The CPS kindergarten application process makes me want to put my head through a wall
If you don’t know how the Chicago Public School (CPS) kindergarten system works, below is a little primer. 1.”Friendly” parents ask you for the name of your local school and either wince out of jealousy or compassion, or shrug their shoulders and say they never heard of it. They then inform you that  your life... Read more »
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"Serial" podcast: The most addictive whodunnit you may not know about

I have been negligent on the blogging front. I could list a few excuses like Mr. Swirley’s busy work schedule is “forcing me to parent” or I am trying to milk every last ounce of semi-warmth and sunlight out of fall before the darkness settles in. The best excuse, however, is that I have been... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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