Posts in category "humor"

That time I ruined my kid’s birthday

Almost two years ago I penned a post  where I whined about the fallout from kids’ birthday parties; jeers, tears, and beers always followed those overstimulating, sugar-filled two-hour fiestas. I’m pleased to say things have improved markedly when it comes to behavior during and post friends’ parties, however, hosting a shindig continues to be a... Read more »

Skylanders, Lego Dimensions, Pokemon: What the Hell is my kid talking about?

My kid turned six this week. He asked for two gifts for his birthday: a Nerf Zombie Strike gun and Lego Dimensions, a video game to play on his hand-me-down X-Box. I turned to my BFF, Google,to figure out what in Sam Hill this child was talking about. Ultimately, I opted for a single shot... Read more »

Four documentaries that will restore your faith in humanity

While my husband and I are physically capable of sitting down and watching whathaveyou together, I tend to opt for an 8PM bedtime while he watches ESPN until his eyeballs fly out. He also hates to watch my “stories”. Hate is a strong word; my taste in television “bums him out”. Between Trump’s freakish rise... Read more »
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Murphy's Law is my every day

I embrace chaos. Whether it’s my mom sitting in an unmonitored wheelchair that is slowly snaking its way to the street, or locking myself out of the house for the 20,446,205th time, it’s just how I roll. It’s kind of my calling card that I always misplace. Sometimes, however, I’m not entirely to blame. Sort... Read more »

Awkward TV: Sometimes it's Fun to Cringe

I’m definitely growing weirder as I age. Like a lot weirder. A few weeks ago a nurse asked, “how are you doing?”, to whit I responded, “I’m overbearing.” Yikes. Luckily people seem to like weirdos (at least on television), which gives me a sliver of hope. 1. Mortified Nation. My childhood diary consisted of some... Read more »

30 movies turning 30 in 2015

<a href="http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089218/">Goonies</a>. Chunk and the gang are <a href="http://www.thegoondocks.org/30th-anniversary-2015.html">together right now</a> in Astoria, OR doing the truffle shuffle celebrating 30 years of awesomeness. This film defined many a childhood and is quoted on the daily around here.
It’s 3:37 AM on Wednesday morning. I could blame my insomnia on anticipation of today’s arrival of FIVE houseguests; they won’t notice the “hair carpet” in the bathroom, right? Or our wedding anniversary (I FINALLY REMEMBERED!!!!) Alas, nope and nope. Instead, I think I’m just turning into an old biddy. You know what else makes... Read more »
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8 reasons why my husband may never let me plan another vacation

Well, we made it back from our Balkans road trip with a bag of souvenirs and a case of campylobacter. If you aren’t familiar with the latter, consider yourself lucky. However, this got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be in charge of planning our vacations. Why?  I’ll give you eight reasons. 1. I... Read more »

Stream these 5 hilarious comedies while feeding your new baby

My friends Dave and Sio just popped out a fresh-baked baby. She’s sweet and sleepy and loves to eat. A lot. Sometimes I forget about the time spent pumping,nursing and bottle feeding. Or pretending to pump/nurse but really just needing a break. And then I meet a new baby and it all comes rushing back.... Read more »

This Week's Top Ten Parenting Fails According to My Kid

1. At 2:30 AM today, I was summoned from Dreamland by a screaming preschooler. I did what any responsible parent would do and covered my head with a pillow. However, his relentless cries finally won out and, after dragging myself out of bed, was told that I “ruined his birthday party by not playing the... Read more »
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Going postal! I love you so hard, snail mail

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like, ‘huh? What the hell is this?’ But if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like, ‘this is nice!’ – Demitri Martin I love mail.... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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