Posts in category "family"

Caregiving Chronicles: Difficult decisions and bad hospital TV

I’m sitting in a dimly lit hospital room next to a sleeping mom (Ho-Ho). She’s just been transferred from the neuro unit of one hospital to the acute rehab unit of another. It’s like Groundhog Day ’round these parts; two lesions in four months. ER to rehab to home…and back. Multiple Sclerosis is an asshole.... Read more »

Searching for patience: My kid sees Africa, I see a missed appointment

I haven’t been very patient with my kid lately. “Hurry up”s in the morning and “slow down”s whenever EK can’t contain his excitement, flow from my mouth like the might ‘Sippa. And, as if I need to one-up myself, I pair my lack of patience with  a dismissive attitude; “Don’t just say ‘yep’, mama. Look!... Read more »

Floating heads, dogs in costume, longing gazes: I'll never beat this year's holiday card

Well, it’s official: I am going to freak out when our roommates move out. If you don’t already know, some friends moved in with us this summer and are still shacked up in this chaotic house. With their impending condo closing scheduled for basically tomorrow, I know it’s only a matter of time before they... Read more »
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The CPS kindergarten application process makes me want to put my head through a wall

The CPS kindergarten application process makes me want to put my head through a wall
If you don’t know how the Chicago Public School (CPS) kindergarten system works, below is a little primer. 1.”Friendly” parents ask you for the name of your local school and either wince out of jealousy or compassion, or shrug their shoulders and say they never heard of it. They then inform you that  your life... Read more »

IKEA with kids: A one way ticket to Anxietyville

Today I went to IKEA. I know you are thinking, “IKEA? On a Friday? You are a GREAT planner, Annie.” But wait, my kid is now old enough to gain access to IKEA’s Kinderland or whatevertheshit it’s called in Swedish. Basically a stranger will watch my kid for an hour as long as little Swirley... Read more »

Successful parenting sometimes means letting go

Yesterday I read a well-written blog post by fellow CN’er Walter Michka entitled, “How will your kids turn out?” He wrote, Bryan Caplan, author of Selfish Reasons To Have More Kids believes children’s long-term outcome is more nature than nurture, that parents may have some influence on their children in the short-term but long-term, it’s really up to the kids themselves. “…parents... Read more »
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Friends are the family you choose

I have been slow in writing lately. I know you are all crying yourselves to sleep wondering what is going on. You know who isn’t crying? This lady right here. Why? Because two people that I love very much are living with us for an undetermined period of time and it’s faneffingtastic (for me, it’s... Read more »

I'm not ready for my kid to head to kindergarten...next year

Lately,  my newsfeed is filled with happy pictures of kids heading off to their first day of school. I  can almost remember what it smelled like that first week – new clothes, fancy folders and locker combinations I still dream about. However, this year things feel a little more sentimental. With every photo I study,... Read more »

"You cannot use pledge wipes as bathroom wipes" and other conversations with my mom

My mom, Ho-Ho, called me eight times this past Sunday.  Our final conversation ended with, “[y]ou’re a real bitch Annie. Love you. Bye”. This was of course in response to me imploring her to talk to her doctor before she refuses to continue taking a prescription. THE GALL! Ho-Ho’s lovely sign-off inspired me to put... Read more »
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Chaos! Please help me organize my digital photos

People of the Internet! I turn to you once again to help me in my terribly misguided life. This time, I need to know how to deal with the GAJILLIONS of photos we have taken with our trusty digi camera. I love  taking pictures almost as much as complaining about how giant image files slow... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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