Category: bad decisions

That time I ruined my kid’s birthday

Almost two years ago I penned a post  where I whined about the fallout from kids’ birthday parties; jeers, tears, and beers always followed those overstimulating, sugar-filled two-hour fiestas. I’m pleased to say things have improved markedly when it comes to behavior during and post friends’ parties, however, hosting a shindig continues to be a... Read more »

Dumpster diving at a funeral home and other socially unacceptable behavior

Concerned that I’m getting my act together with all of this public school advocacy business? Rest assured, I’m not. 1. I recently received word that I’m soon headed abroad for a work-related trip. Since said trip requires a visa, I thought I’d prove myself responsible and get my passport to my colleague before he had... Read more »

5 rookie mistakes I made as a kindergartner's parent

The transition to Kindergarten can be a sticky one. And by sticky I mean, “HOLY HELL, WHOSE PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?” While my kid settled in just fine after a rocky week or two, I continued to make foolish decisions all damn year long. Because I believe in paying it forward, I’ve got five tips... Read more »
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Murphy's Law is my every day

I embrace chaos. Whether it’s my mom sitting in an unmonitored wheelchair that is slowly snaking its way to the street, or locking myself out of the house for the 20,446,205th time, it’s just how I roll. It’s kind of my calling card that I always misplace. Sometimes, however, I’m not entirely to blame. Sort... Read more »

Awkward TV: Sometimes it's Fun to Cringe

I’m definitely growing weirder as I age. Like a lot weirder. A few weeks ago a nurse asked, “how are you doing?”, to whit I responded, “I’m overbearing.” Yikes. Luckily people seem to like weirdos (at least on television), which gives me a sliver of hope. 1. Mortified Nation. My childhood diary consisted of some... Read more »

Sandwich Generation Stories: Uniforms and Panties

Lately I can’t seem to maintain focus on anything. There exists no excuse like a newborn, or an insanely busy job. In fact,  I work from home three days per week and spend the other two hanging out with my kid and thinking about all the prescriptions I need to fill for my mom. It... Read more »
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8 reasons why my husband may never let me plan another vacation

Well, we made it back from our Balkans road trip with a bag of souvenirs and a case of campylobacter. If you aren’t familiar with the latter, consider yourself lucky. However, this got me thinking that maybe, just maybe, I shouldn’t be in charge of planning our vacations. Why?  I’ll give you eight reasons. 1. I... Read more »

Going postal! I love you so hard, snail mail

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like, ‘huh? What the hell is this?’ But if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like, ‘this is nice!’ – Demitri Martin I love mail.... Read more »

Kids' birthday parties are going to destroy me

On Sunday afternoon, EK and I attended the second kid birthday party of 2015. And we have another one  scheduled for this weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy socializing with parents-now-friends and  EK always has a blast, but the actual party usually ends in tears…mine and/or EK’s. After I returned home from the... Read more »
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To the person who ransacked my car last night, HAHA

Back in college, some asshole smashed my car window and stole pretty much everything out of that little lemon of a car. From the stereo to my groceries (what? It was fall in WI. Stuff stayed cold), I was left with nothing. I also lost my ENTIRE CD collection (remember those?) because I was a... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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