Dumpster diving at a funeral home and other socially unacceptable behavior

Concerned that I'm getting my act together with all of this public school advocacy business? Rest assured, I'm not.

1. I recently received word that I'm soon headed abroad for a work-related trip. Since said trip requires a visa, I thought I'd prove myself responsible and get my passport to my colleague before he had time to ask.

pjimage (1)Guess what I couldn't find...my passport. Yep. Also missing was my birth certificate because...I'm me (e.g. the 2015 "different names on my passport/ticket" fiasco).

I'd like to think I did yours truly a favor as I don't use either of the names on my old passport and would thus likely confuse the hell out of our hosts.

Long story short, the passport was located but only after reporting it lost (i.e., voided by Uncle Sam), I got a Soviet-style photo snapped (since when do we have to show our ears?) and lamented my idiocy to my soon-to-be six-year-old .The little dude was kind enough to work up a pretty accurate substitute passport for me, but I opted for the real thing since I need to keep getting a paycheck and all.

2. My kid attends an after-school program that is definitely within walking distance from our digs. However, given my resistance to engaging in any type of physical activity, I often hop in the car and destroy a little bit of ozone going to and fro.

Since I'm also obsessed with identifying the shortest route possible, we explore the neighborhood each time we head out, one day taking an alley adjacent to his facility.

What did I find? FLOWERS! So many flowers...pouring out of garbage cans.

What did I do? What any normal person would - jumped out of the car and threw them into a sled living in my trunk instead of the garage.

Why were so many flowers in the garbage? Who knows! Maybe it was wedding venue or something. Not like I'd driven by the front of the building approximately one zillion times over the course of the past four years.

You know where I'm going with this, don't you? Yep, it was a funeral home. I just dumpster dove flowers from the back of a funeral home. #immyfathersdaughter

I wish I could've purchased the original as it featured actual sequins.

I wish I could've purchased the original as it featured actual sequins.

3. I bought this...all 17x23" of it. If we didn't share a child, I'm pretty sure Mr. Swirley would have walked out on me after seeing this glorious beast.

How did I rationalize such a purchase? I want to say it's because of my dedication to buying locally (the artist is Chicago-based), but my obsession with Overboard is no secret. I just HAD to get it, OK?

4. GIFs are amazing. You know this, I know this, Mr. Swirley doesn't appreciate this. Specifically, he doesn't appreciate my newest, most favorite texting app, GIPHY Keys. Screw emojis, this is the only way we should communicate from here on out.

Last week, for example, I visited the lady doctor and sent my old man a pre-exam update.

Britney was dancing - use your imagination.

Britney was dancing - use your imagination.

Poor Lee.

via GIPHY

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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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