8 reasons why I am going to lose my sh!t today

Let's just jump in, shall we?

photo(1)1. My mom lost her dental plate. Again. Nerds Smartypants of the world, can you PLEASE, for the love of sweet baby Jesus, invent a bluetooth or homing device for dentures/plates/whathaveyou? These things cost more than the valued place on a Duggar's v-card.

2. The battery backup for our sump pump won't - beep - stop - BEEP - BEEPING. I keep resetting that mysterious little black box and boom, it starts its little high-pitched squeal not a minute later. When I called to schedule a repair visit, the lady on the other end of the line asked me if I was crying. No lie.

And don't tell me to "just unplug it" because I already tried. It's a battery back-up, so it just.keeps.beeping regardless of its power source.

3. Congress. You really need specifics? Fine. The House passed a bill to lift the existing outpatient physical/occupation/speech therapy cap of $1940. Yay! But the Senate tabled it until 4/13. BOO! As of 4/1, the allowance for a discretionary increase to $3700 lapsed. DOUBLE BOO. So, if you are near the $1940 cap like Arden, you now cannot get any PT authorized because providers will not be reimbursed by Medicare for anything over the cap (even if a patient is deemed eligible for extra services.)

Hey Senators! Hope your recess was awesome and you weren't stuck in a room because you couldn't walk. Trust me, it sucks.

4. We are selling our condo. I don't think I need to elaborate.

5. We still haven't enrolled our kid in an elementary school (read about the process here). We're getting closer, but I want to punch ambiguity in the face.

6.  None of my pants fit right. I mean, COME ON! I now understand why women start to wear high-waisted pants. At this point I can honestly say I'm hiking my pants to just under my bra. I guess it's sort of the natural order of things? First the waist moves up and then the boobs down?

7. Strangers won't stop asking us when we are having another kid. We aren't. Even if you tell me I'll "change my mind", or I'm "missing out" or my favorite, we're "depriving our kid of a sibling/friend", we're not going to change our minds. How about I'll keep my mouthhole shut when you  tell me you want to have 12 kids and you do the same when you find out we are parents to one child? You do you, boo.

8. I drank way too much caffeine. I'm sure that isn't helping me keep my cool.

I know, wah wah wah, Annie is so grumpy. Honestly, I would shut the hell up if it weren't for the teeth and Medicare debacle; that's some straight up BS. So there.

Want more? Check out more humerous complaint posts

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- 7 things that go together that absolutely don't go together


No one ever accused me of being rational. Follow Swirleytime on twitter @swirleytime and Facebook for interesting stories, links and a lot of self-deprecating humor.

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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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