My friends Dave and Sio just popped out a fresh-baked baby. She's sweet and sleepy and loves to eat. A lot. Sometimes I forget about the time spent pumping,nursing and bottle feeding. Or pretending to pump/nurse but really just needing a break. And then I meet a new baby and it all comes rushing back.
When EK was a wee one, he refused to nurse. Flat out didn't like the boob. Thus, I spent approximately ten bazillion hours pumping in the hopes he could get his tiny mind together and get to business. Formula is expensive, man!
It was a tedious time filled with the loud whirring sound of the pump and a tiny person's weird pterodactyl screeches .To drown out the "WOM WOM WOM" of the pump I turned to the ole' idiot box. Sweet, sweet TV entertainment was my savior during those 30-minute pumping sessions.
If you find yourself in a similar position (or just a fan of good television), I compiled a list of five hilarious 30-minute or less comedies that will entertain new moms/dads while they stuff babies full of nutrients. Go stream them now.
Oh, and WAY TO GO ON CREATING A HUMAN BEING! Badass.
1. Arrested Develepment. This was my go-to show. Funny, weird and the perfect length of time. Sometimes I would even watch a second one which is maybe why I was a little top-heavy at first. Plus, Netflix added a fourth season because maybe no one can ever get enough of Maeby.
Stuff a boob or bottle in your baby's face and reeeeeeeeeeeeelax. Until she starts screaming. I can't help with that.
2. I wish I could use the "I have a newborn sleeping on me so I can't move" excuse for binging on Tina Fey's newest endeavor, The Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt. Alas, instead I am simply a neglectful parent.
While Kimmy Schmidt rubbed a few of my friends wrong (communists!), I'm enamored by this charming show. Our forever-affable protagonist is freed from a cult bunker and moves to New York. Shenanigans ensue.
Each episode runs less than 30 minutes and is highly entertaining. Plus Kimmy just may inspire you to keep looking for those silver linings in the bleariest of mornings.
4. It might be too crass for some, but I LOVE The League. Like "I want to marry it", love. It's terribly offensive in so many ways, and yet, like a gross blow out, you just can't avert your eyes. You even might "accidently" allow that little Netflix timer to count down and automatically start the next show.
Throw some earmuffs on your kid and get to some sweet (and necessary) snarky laughter.
5. Weeds is also pretty inappropriate for little people, but let's be honest, that baby can't even see your mug let alone freak out when Mary-Louise Parker engages in some serious drug dealing. My only qualm with this dark comedy is MLP's ridiculous iced-coffee/soda habit. For a woman who is financially strapped, she certainly spends some serious cash at Starbuck's.
Settle in for all eight seasons of comic relief from your newly chaotic life. If you learn anything from this show, it's that things can always be worse (i.e., crawling through tunnels to Mexico or living with your pervy brother-in-law).
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