To the person who ransacked my car last night, HAHA

Back in college, some asshole smashed my car window and stole pretty much everything out of that little lemon of a car. From the stereo to my groceries (what? It was fall in WI. Stuff stayed cold), I was left with nothing. I also lost my ENTIRE CD collection (remember those?) because I was a moron who left my CaseLogic in the back seat. Do you think I learned any lessons after this experience? No, no I didn't.

During our time in DC, we saw our neighbor's Jeep windows slashed (the Jeep was later set on fire) and our car broken into to nab a laptop bag filled with gym clothes.

Now, in Chicago, we have had fairly good luck with the car. I mean, I routinely run into things and it's all types of dinged up, but no smash and grabs or fires set. Knock on wood.

nelsonHowever, it has been ransacked its fair share with the most recent visit sometime between 10PM last night and 6 AM today. All I have to say is... SUCKERS! Well first, I didn't care. Then I did.

Guess who left her mom's bag of prescriptions in the car!? It was  like sophomore year of college all over again except instead of rare Tribe Called Quest b-sides, I had narcotics hanging out in a bag. Refills for those suckers requires a police report and hunting down her pain specialist. Ain't nobody have time for that foolishness! Foo Fighter tickets go on sale at 10 AM today.


Um? I spy a disabled parking placard AND delicious Trader Joe's crackers. These thieves have no common sense. Nor do people who leave their car doors open.

Fear not, friends! Over the weekend, Mr. Swirley removed said bag because he knows I am unable to change my moronic ways. Hooray! Now I can laugh at the imagined disappointment that flashed across the would-be thieves faces after they shoved their hand into a crumb filled center console.

Look at that sticker! Ready to go since Feb and still in our console. Bright bulbs working up in here!

Look at that sticker! Ready to go since Feb and still in our console. Bright bulbs working up in here!

What's weird is that they didn't take the disabled parking placard (maybe because it no longer entitled you to free parking) nor the license plate renewal stickers I was supposed to put on in Feb.


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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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