Archive for September 2014

For the record, Joan Cusack DID NOT try to kill my friend

Do you have a doppelgänger? You know, In fiction and folklore, a doppelgänger, doppelgaenger or doppelganger (literally “double goer”) is a look-alike or double of a living person who is sometimes portrayed as a harbinger of bad luck. In some traditions, a doppelgänger seen by a person’s relative or friend portends illness or danger while seeing one’s own doppelgänger is said to be an omen of death. In contemporary vernacular,... Read more »

That time I accidently took my husband to a strip club

Back when I lived in DC,  I shopped at Ann Taylor and wore pearls. I mean, they really should have a bouncer checking IDs at that store and boot anyone under 45 for the good of humanity (and fashion). Conservative clothing aside, I liked to have fun. Some dancing at Chief Ike’s “club” with “Hillbillies”... Read more »

Making dreams comes true for one Brony at a time

EK’s obsession with My Little Pony continues. I would go as far as calling him a hardcore Brony. Our Halloween plans are set : 1. 1 rainbow dash sweatshirt 2. Pair of blue pants with hooves sewed on (don’t even ask me how this will happen). Done and done (brushes hands off). But here is... Read more »
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Caretaking Chronicles: Three Simple Words?

I liked to play word association games in my head.  They are a simple way for me to figure out how I feel about a certain person, place or thing. I like simple. I mean, I eat cereal for breakfast, people. Let’s take the word mom. + the first three words that pop into my... Read more »

My top five public speaking fails

Writer’s block is living large up in here. Usually I can turn the banal into something funny (or at least something fun to write), but my brain is like a big old black hole sucking in late-night Netflix documentaries while inhaling Pirate’s Booty. God damn that stuff is amazing. Anyway, last night I awoke panic-stricken... Read more »

People who told me four-year-olds are reasonable are big, fat LIARS

Recently my boss informed me I am now closer to 50 than I am to 18. Thanks, boss. 50 is the new 30, right? RIGHT? But don’t worry, I don’t have time to pout about growing a year older. Why? Because I am an adult and have grown to appreciate life my kid turned 4 last... Read more »
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A weird time capsule from my 4th grade self

1. The motorcade
2. "Hi" says President Kennedy
3. A gun shot from a nearby bulding.
4. Hospital
5. Graveyard
6. The end
7. WHAT THE HELL?
SWEET MOTHER OF PEARL do I have a treat for you. It’s not quite how I remembered, but amazing all the same. Here’s the backstory. Back in 1989 (fourth grade or so), when schools still offered art class more than once a never, we were given a special assignment: Create a storyboard out of felt.... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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