I am the world's worst cook

burned book

Case in point.

No one has ever accused me of being a good cook. I try, I really do. But sometimes cereal is so much easier. When I do make something tasty it is likely unintentional and impossible to replicate. And then there is the problem of a short attention span.

A few weeks ago, while making BBQ sauce for the pulled pork in the slow cooker (possibly the easiest thing to do in the world), I left the burner on and:

1. put the ziploc bag full of pork on the hot burner thereby melting it
2. sprayed fantastic on the burner (not realizing it was still on) trying to clean the charred pork off of the burner. It truly was a hot, firey ball of fantastic.

A few years ago I blew the top off of our gas grill after I tried to light it five minutes into the gas running.

Also, do you know that you can't put wax paper in the oven? Mr. Swirley said I could but you can't unless you want to fill up your house with smoke. Maybe if it was covered with batter or I used parchment paper, but just so you know, in general, paper in oven = bad.

You can pretty much assume I have destroyed my son's nascent palate. And my eyebrows.

Bon appetit!

No one ever accused me of being rational. Follow Swirleytime on twitter @swirleytime and Facebook for interesting stories, links and a lot of self-deprecating humor.

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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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