Archive for April 2014

Why I love my son's preschool teachers

Some people wrestle with the idea of sending their kid to daycare/preschool/whathaveyou. Whether it’s because I grew up in a home daycare and was thus comfortable with the idea of preschool, or knew that my threshold for shenanigans in unusually low,  I understood that little EK would be bonding with childcare providers  from ages 3... Read more »

My preschooler is already questioning the existence of the Easter Bunny

It’s bunny time for many of us. Last week, our little family ventured to one of  Chicago’s suburbs to meet that furry beast and procure some candy. The bunny was kind of  a “dirt-bunny”, but, I mean, can you even get those costumes cleaned? Is that something a dry-cleaner does? I have actually spent a... Read more »

Caretaking Chronicles: White Flag Wednesday

All as has been quiet on the mom front since she was released from the hospital a few weeks ago. So quiet, in fact, that I  actually relaxed (sort of) and laughed at the over $100K charged for her three hospital stays during the first quarter of this year. Nuts, right? But fun time is... Read more »

8 ways my DNA broke my kid

Yesterday I sliced my finger open with a bread knife. There was blood, a ring-finger wrapped in paper towel secured with scotch tape, and four stitches. I called Mr. Swirley laughing about the ordeal and he once again exclaimed that EK and I are the same person: We have ZERO going on in the coordination... Read more »

Don't be an ass: 7 tips for Craigslist buyers

So let me get this straight. You are going to send me a check for TWICE the amount I am asking for my 20-year-old whoosiewhatsee and all I have to do is wire you a little money before your check clears? That sounds legit. Or not. I asked for “cash only” for a reason, fool.
Springtime means purging crap from our house.  How? It’s simple. Turn to good old Interweb Craig to sell our stuff. Now that I have uploaded pictures of all of our garbage  fantabulous buys and am waiting for the haggling and subsequent flaking to begin, I thought share some tips on how to NOT be a... Read more »

5 terribly embarrassing things that only happen on business trips

I don’t go on business trips very often, especially since I moved to IL and now work from home. However, when the opportunity presents itself, I inevitably am confronted with awkward situations that end in incredible embarrassment. 1. Mealtime.  I went on a farm-tour in rural Iowa and was force fed salo (salted lard) by... Read more »

Business trips are a welcome break from my kid

I am on a business trip today and it’s glorious. I know parents aren’t supposed to outwardly say that they love being away from their kids, but man, this the freaking best. Why? 1. I work from home, which I realize is a pretty sweet gig. That said, I spend my mornings pushing a kid... Read more »

Swimming Lessons' Lessons

After three months of swimming lessons, I am  proud to announce that EK has upped the threshold from 0 to 12 seconds before we dive in to save him.  I know that sounds terrible, but honestly, it’s a huge coup; it takes less time for me to house a Three Musketeers bar. However, I have... Read more »

To Overprotective Parents: I Say Asphalt is Nutritious and Delicious

I remember when EK threatened to crawl, my daycare provider of a dad suggested that I get down on my kid’s level to identify potential hazards. With knees covered in cat hair and dust bunnies, I spied sharp corners just ripe for eyeball pokes, sequins (don’t judge, they are AWESOME hot pants), and other perils... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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