Crappy coffee, baby-fever and a list of other random thoughts

Today is a good day for a list of random thoughts.

1. This is what my morning coffee looks like. It 90% half and half, 8% coffee and 2% coffee grinds. On a scale of 1 to sludge, it's fairly disgusting. Especially as I only sprinkled new coffee grounds on day-old muck to make a "new pot".

We celebrate xmas yearround

We celebrate xmas year round

2.  Well, it finally happened. I have been bit by the baby bug. It's been going on for awhile, but I was too ashamed/proud to admit it. Everyone told me, "mmhmm. Sure you just want one little boo. Wait until EK is older and you will be craving to scoop out nasty "neck snacks" from a newborn." Pshaw, I thought. Well, I'll be damned, they were right. Curse you experienced moms!

A few weeks ago I called Mr. Swirley from the baby section in TJMaxx, tears starting to percolate. "Remember how Ellis use to projectile vomit all over our furniture? I miss that," I sniffled. "Remember how he use to have blow outs and I forgot to bring diapers and/or wipes?  How you had to do arm curls with him in his car seat because that was the only way he would shut up? And how I lost my freaking mind? I miss that." And, as directed, Mr. Swirley responded (and continues to respond), "remember how they get bigger? They always get bigger. And grosser."

This past weekend I took EK to a play cafe that was overflowing with babies. And strangely enough, I found myself feeling melancholy; I just wanted to pick up one of those bald headed beauties and walk out. While I am not sure another kiddo is in the cards for us, it hasn't stopped mother nature from wanting me to jump in a bathtub full of babies and listen to them giggle. So, if you are looking for a free sitter, feel free to dump your kid with me and I will cuddle the hell out of him/her.

3.  We have a lot of yard work do. When I say a lot, I mean we won't be seeing friends for the next 20 years. Just a heads up. Unless you want to come over and paint our fence/porch/house. Or shovel 10,000 loads of mulch into a wheelbarrow and scatter it in the yard (yes, we are going to have it dumped in the driveway because we are classy like that). I mean, if we have to pay exorbitant taxes on our property to send our kid to a sub par school, we are going to enjoy our crabgrass.

4. I haven't brushed my hair in a week. That is not an exaggeration.

5.  There has been a lot of bathroom talk in my house (and out in public. Loudly.) By one pint-sized person. But not a lot of actually going to the bathroom in a civilized manner.

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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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