Caregiving Chronicles: Medicare might give up on mom, but we certainly won't

Guess who’s going to rehab!?!? No, not your favorite celebrity starlet. Well, maybe.  But I’m talking about none other than my mom, Ardie Ho-Ho. Get excited, G-dammit! Since January, Ho-Ho hasn’t walked much. We sherpa’d her to the bathroom enough times to realize that her MS was being a real bitch. Although she was hospitalized... Read more »

This Week's Top Ten Parenting Fails According to My Kid

1. At 2:30 AM today, I was summoned from Dreamland by a screaming preschooler. I did what any responsible parent would do and covered my head with a pillow. However, his relentless cries finally won out and, after dragging myself out of bed, was told that I “ruined his birthday party by not playing the... Read more »

Choose hope and work to end pediatric cancer this Donna Day!

Do you remember when you were small? How everybody would seem so tall I am your shadow in the dark I have your blood inside my heart – Spoon, “Me and the Bean“ Today is Donna Day. It’s a day to celebrate the life of Donna Quirke-Hornik, who was pirated away from this world by... Read more »
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Going postal! I love you so hard, snail mail

I like fruit baskets because it gives you the ability to mail someone a piece of fruit without appearing insane. Like, if someone just mailed you an apple you’d be like, ‘huh? What the hell is this?’ But if it’s in a fruit basket you’re like, ‘this is nice!’ – Demitri Martin I love mail.... Read more »

Fact: The human head weighs 12,000 lbs when resting on one's trachea

My husband is away on a work trip again. Don’t get any ideas, robbers, we have houseguests! Anyway, by night three, my kid usually weasels his way into my bedroom to try to destroy me via co sleeping snuggle. Warm fuzzies, yeah yeah. Without fail, this is what happens every GD time. 4:30 AM – Kid... Read more »

I love that my kid lacks a filter

Yesterday morning, after yelling,  ”DO NOT COME INTO MY BEDROOM,” my 4 y/o kid, EK, calmed down and went about his morning routine of feeding his creepy fish and pretending to get dressed. He then asked, “[m]ama, do I have a greater brain than you? Because I remember more stuff than you.” Maybe? His memory... Read more »
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5 absurd reasons why working from home is amazificent

Back in 2008, I relocated from DC to Chicago and my boss was kind enough to keep me on the payroll as a part-time employee. It was my first experience in the working-from-home world, and I’m not going to lie, it took a bit of time to adjust to this new way of life. Do... Read more »

Searching for patience: My kid sees Africa, I see a missed appointment

I haven’t been very patient with my kid lately. “Hurry up”s in the morning and “slow down”s whenever EK can’t contain his excitement, flow from my mouth like the might ‘Sippa. And, as if I need to one-up myself, I pair my lack of patience with  a dismissive attitude; “Don’t just say ‘yep’, mama. Look!... Read more »

The Oatmeal & friends' "Exploding Kittens" card game just exploded their Kickstarter goal

*I recieved no payment nor in-kind gift for this post – I just think every humor-loving reader might appreciate this game and am amazed by the efficacy of crowd-funding. UPDATE #3 (1/28 – 12:27 PM) via Mashable – “Exploding Kittens is the most backed Kickstarter ever” at $4.3 million on day eight of the campaign.... Read more »
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Kids' birthday parties are going to destroy me

On Sunday afternoon, EK and I attended the second kid birthday party of 2015. And we have another one  scheduled for this weekend. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy socializing with parents-now-friends and  EK always has a blast, but the actual party usually ends in tears…mine and/or EK’s. After I returned home from the... Read more »
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    Annie Swingen

    Chicago-based hyperbole enthusiast. Mom to a kid and sometimes my mom. Overboard (1987) obsessed weirdo. I like the funnies in life.

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