Finding your place of Yes

My last post was pre-vacation.  I will hopefully find the time to share all the fabulous the week brought into our lives.  Reality came back in full force on the drive home.  The day after we landed in our home port, I started a new adventure working outside the home as well as inside the home with my virtual assistance business & have worked hard to hold on to the mommy time I have cherished for nearly 2 years.  I put a plea out to my friends yesterday to guest blog for me.  I am physically and emotionally tired.  Casting is less than a week away and blogging at this moment meant I had to leave the comfort of "Denial" and return to reality.  I like "Denial" it is a wonderous world where infantile scoliosis is a thing that happened but is not happening.  My friends came through for me as they always do.  As I was reading their guest posts it hit me....we all really love Denial!  Thank you Sarah B. & Cathy J!  You guys are amazing!  We will meet you at Shriners Hospital for Children-Chicago Thursday morning.  We will be the ones standing with stage fright at the front doors.  Push us through! 
 
Guest Post#1, Submitted by Sarah B.   

My daughter, Giana, has been casting for 2 and a half years. This summer is our third summer in cast. I have always been at peace with our 1 week off knowing we would be putting her cast back on after 1 week of freedom. 1 week of water fun. But this time for me it was different. I needed to give her more then 1 week this summer. We spoke to our doctor and agreed she would get 1 month, tho because of scheduling ended up being 35 days. 35 days of freedom. wow. I couldnt wait.

We have had so much fun this summer enjoying her freedom with her. Swimming, boating, bathing. But more than that, was not having to say no. Not having to watch her be removed from her peers and watch from the side. But to be able to be right there with them. What a joy that was for me to watch her smile. To beam that she to could swim and play.

When we got to the 1 week mark I felt like I got kicked in the gut. I was sick to my stomach. Where did the last 30 days go? Why did it go so fast? Why do we only have 1 week left? Why do we have to put that cast on again? Why, Why Why? I didnt know how I would ever get the peace I used to have with casting because everything in me is screaming No more!

I actually entertained calling her dr and saying no more. I went there in my head and my heart. I prayed, dreamed, and wished that these days of casting were behind us, so that my baby didnt have to go back to watching on the sidelines. I cried and prayed. And prayed and cried. Couldnt God just heal my baby now? Couldnt we just have a miracle? Why her? Why us?

In my prayers for healing for her I found healing for me. I once again started to feel the peace I needed to feel to know that this cast is what is best for her right now. That no matter how hard it will be, no matter how much I still dont want to go, I have to. But more than that I have to trust in God to heal her and our family in the way he knows is best. I have to let go of the control I want to have and know its out of my hands.

We have 4 days left and I plan on making them the very best for her. The amazing part is she accepts her cast, accepts that she has 4 days left. She has peace an acceptance. And I thank God for that.

Leave a comment