Today I write with great pride....I have been kicked off my second support group for Infantile Scoliosis. The first time I was removed it was under my terms & I earned my exit. I so desperately wanted to feel part of something bigger than my childs Scoliosis. I wanted to be surrounded by love and support. I wanted someone to affirm my feelings and encourage the path I had chose for my son. Albert Einstein said it best:" In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep, one must above all be a sheep oneself". My Mom didn't raise a sheep. She instead raised a hybrid, part honey badger, part eagle. In any effort I am not a sheep. I don't blindly follow a path I don't agree with.
Parents seek support groups for many avenues in life. Through Yahoo groups and Google searches you can find a group for nearly anything you need. ADHD support forums, Lyme disease, Mothers of multiples, Cancer survivors support forums, Autism forums, etc... Anytime you put yourself in this mix of people it is intimidating to say the least. You are indeed the new kid on the block and you are entering a group of people who in many cases have already established ideas, thoughts, standard operating procedures for what you are entering. My biggest suggestion for finding your way in this new scary world is first stay true to who you are and second test the waters. Ask the prying questions and if you find there is only one right answer run for the hills. These are children, if you are in a group where there is only one common or correct opinion on what you propose then ask yourself if you believe that to be true! HA! I have found in the world of infantile scoliosis there are 100 different ways to diaper your child, what clothes fit best, how to wash their hair, when to come out of cast, how to come out of cast, what works for a rash, which hospital is the best... The list can go on forever and the reality there are 10o ways to cook a cabbage. You have to find the way that works for you by sampling the smorgasbord of suggestions out there.
When I realized I had been removed from my second support group it was so much less devastating than the first. This one I truly wore my badge of honor upon dismissal. I honestly don't know why I was still listed as a member. The Lucky Cast Club has been everything I have ever dreamed of and more. In the 3 months I spent on the first group I watched blow ups and walk outs every few weeks. In contrast, we have been a family group for nearly 2.5 years and have never had so much as an argument break out in our group. I attribute it to many factors, we have the worlds greatest members. Each person has a mutual respect and admiration for the others journey. There is no moderator, no heirarchy, and no judgement. If you ask a question you may get 10 different suggestions thrown your way. We are not hospital exclusive. We don't care where you go or what your cast or brace looks like, all are welcome. We check our egos at the door when we enter the forum. You have enough in our life without having to tread lightly with your support group. My most recent words of wisdom to a fellow parent, "Get mad. Break something, scream until it feels betters." Dr. Phil needs to write that shit down...profound.
I am a member of a team, and I rely on the team, I
defer to it and sacrifice for it, because the team, not the individual, is the
Individual commitment to
a group effort - that is what makes a team work, a company work, a society work,
a civilization work.
The day I was removed was a dark day for me personally. I was stereotyped for having a donate button on our webpage. I made the decision that day the donate button would be removed and most likely never return. We are an amazing group who makes efforts to create good deeds in our children's names. I will not allow anything to question or overshadow their light again. My friends quickly picked me up and I thank them for that! Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.
I, not events, have the power to make me happy or
unhappy today. I can choose which it shall be. Yesterday is dead, tomorrow
hasn't arrived yet. I have just one day, today, and I'm going to be happy in
Until next time, Keep it curvy~