I HATE Being Black


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I hate being black because everyone else feels it's a curse. Facebook is circulating a video entitled "Dark Skin" which is unapologetic in highlighting the horrific mental complexities centered around the diversity of skin color within the African American community. Overall, young and old women of color were telling their stories of when they realized being dark skinned wasn't beautiful.

It's not uncommon to find girls that have had traumatic events take place within their childhood and even adulthood that hinders their ability to develop an appreciation for their skin color because society tells them (us) that they are not beautiful because they are not light. I sure as hell can relate. Up until the 8th grade I thought I was ugly. I literally hit my head up against the mirror every time I saw myself because I was being called "Darkie" by my grandfather who had curly hair, hazel green eyes and was as light as can be. 

His sister was a "passer" it took a while for people to realize she was really black. Her red hair fooled a lot of people and it pierced my soul whenever she called me "tar baby."

I hate being black every time I like a boy and he tells me he doesn't date dark skin women but he's willing to have sex. I hate being black every time I meet a guy and things are going well and he takes me to meet his friends and they say "you can do better she's too dark, what will your kids look like (true story!). I hate the idea of my complexion being such a hindrance to the prosperity of my life and it is not something I can change.

I hate being black and so that's why at the age of 30 I say I'm an African. I may not be able to call to Nigeria for Granny or speak the language but I claim Nigeria. My grandmother thinks I'm foolish because I want to know where I come from to better trace my roots. She said "you're a n____a and that's all you need to know." She hates that fact that I mainly date African men because for some odd reason when they see my dark skin, white teeth and black gums they tell me I'm beautiful. I can finally say I believe it and them.
 I recently started the Jessica LaShawn Foundation in an effort to unite dark skinned women within the urban communities of Chicago. I've gotten a lot of negative feedback saying that I am aiding in the division within our own people but documentaries such as this showcase that we need our own tools for empowerment.

Dark Girls: Preview from Bradinn French on Vimeo.

Comments

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  • Even when I was a very young white boy, I thought black people were ultra-beautiful. I still think black/brown/olive skin is a beautiful thing.

  • In reply to scottknitter:

    Scott, meet Jessica.

    Jessica, meet Scott.

    Now go make beautiful babies.

  • In reply to gwill:

    lol..... thanks

  • In reply to scottknitter:

    Man, I'm getting all choked up. This is SAD! I had no idea and I consider myself a round-the-block person. My friends all bitch about not being able to get sun tans.

    Maybe it's a woman thing. Women in general HATE each other and will do nothing to stop another woman from feeling good about herself.

    FWIW, you are gorgeous. But you probably knew that :)

  • In reply to scottknitter:

    Hi Jessica. I jumped through the "sign in" hoops here to post a comment. A friend of mine shared your blog on Facebook. I clicked over, read, and immediately had to check my anxiety and disappointment. I appreciate your experience (and I really do, I'm not patronizing you), but I think your discussion here and subsequent comments commit the very damaging act of reinforcing the myth of a monolithic black community. Black americans are a diverse group of people living diverse experiences. There are absolutely issues related to phenotype characteristics (again, I support you in this notion 100%), but these issues are not "across the board" or the norm. They are ignorant and inappropriate. They are learned behaviors. Some people are taught this way. Some are not. I'm not going to describe myself or my family to you as a way to legitimize my commentary, but I will say I understand your points but felt uncomfortable with your solution to disavow your black identity. I've seen the clip of "Black Girls" as well, and I find the premise problematic. Not because this issues doesn't need to be discussed, but because this issue is one of community and humanness and should include men and women. Prejudice and stratification happens in every group... every group. To discuss it in this general and flippant way is hurtful. I'm sure you didn't realize there would be a woman out there, a mother, wife and teacher that would read your words "I HATE being black" and "...that's why at the age of 30 I say I'm an African," and be appalled, saddened, angered, weakened, if only for a moment.

  • In reply to Camille:

    I agree........this type of mentality starts at home....it is a learned behavior. If you don't love yourself, how can you lead anyone else.

  • In reply to Camille:

    Thanks for signing up to comment. You bring up very good points. I will quote my sister Portia and say that "Black is a color, it doesnt tell you who you are and where you come from" so with that being said I still insist that I am "African!" I think its an upgrade personally. Dont be hurt by this.

  • In reply to Camille:

    I love myself and I had to learn how to from a mentor so I want to do the same and I feel I am a fit leader for such a task! Thats for the comment!

  • In reply to Camille:

    That's really sad I hate that you had to grow up like that. I wish you could have been a part of my family. I grew up with a family of dark-skinned African-American who treasure dark skin. They told me daily how beautiful my skin color and to cherish the different shades of the community. If anything we have always cherished dark skinned MORE than the other skin colors. I grew up with so many positive sayings and expressions about the beauty of dark skin. I'm sorry that you didn't grow up like I did; but now you have the chance to impact any children you associate with in a positive way. Tell then=m how beautiful dark skin & how much of blessing it is. Be sure to tell them as often as you can to impact them positively the rest of their lives. Every time you feel bald about dark-skin tell yourself and others of the same complexion how beautiful it is.

  • In reply to Camille:

    Hi. Jessica. I came across your blog while searching the documentary. Myself, I am light skinned and have had long curly hair. Growing up I was always attacked physically by dark-skinned girls because of this. I was afraid to touch my hair in the school mirrors because they'd say I was "acting white" if I combed it out. I had my face scratched to the "whitish" layers below the epidermas because a dark skinned girl " just didn't like me," but said she didn't know why. ( took over a yr. to heal) And even now have trouble with dark skinned women as an adult. HOWEVER: My mother is very dark skinned and skinny ( my father was light). Growing up, she told me how her first love's parents didn't let him marry her because she was too dark ( paper bag test, anyone?) Her nickname was "Buckwheat" because of her skin/hair. She tells me a story about how a light-skinned boy called her "black dog" once. She is in her 50's and it still cuts like a knife. So, I know ( from my mother) what it feels like, yet dark women always percieved me as an enemy. So, my point is, I think it is good you have this group, but remember that light-skinned black women are not the enemy. WE ARE ALL SISTERS...ALL BLACK.... AND ALL BEAUTIFUL. It's not going to get any better until we come together as African-American women.

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    I completely agree with California Love!!! I was always given trouble growing up and now for being light skinned. I never felt like I fit in anywhere because of the hatred I recieved from other races for being black (see they don't care what shade you are, black is black even if your light), and being hated by black people because I'm "too light!" It's a lose lose situation. So though we may all go through different things as black women, WE ALL GO THOROUGH THINGS!

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    Dark skinned black women are akin to the pink skinned freckled women in the white community. It sucks.

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    I've been, because I am light-skinned, told that because I am this lighter shade of black culture that I am somehow superior to darker skinned individuals of my culture.

    Funny that's the case in some people's heads.

    Disrespect and generally backbiting aren't a matter of what your skin is.

    Being overweight is just as bad.

    Being broke is just as bad.

    Being underemployed is worse.

    If being light-skinned or near white was all you needed to make it in this world, alot of folks of my side of the spectrum wouldn't be effected by the current economy.

    So what's happening there?

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    Who has permission to make you feel inferior? I don't say this to be coy, but life is what it is for you, me, and the rest of the world. Where is your empowerment...in action? I respect and support your endeavors to reach out to those who are/have allowed others to define them using skin color as a tool to demean; but, in the course of life, we all have our differences that, if allowed, would cause us much grief. In my 49.5 years of life, I have found that indifference begins and ENDS with me. There is a rainbow that describes my family, and no one is less or better than the other until they insist by their character. I understand the plight, and I don't take it lightly (no pun intended); yet, it is soooo YESTERDAY! Check your emotions and get on with your purpose in life. God bless you in your endeavors!!

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    This is not just a black issue.

    A friend was offended when her Puerto Rican father (mom was a blonde from the Ozarks) told her he was glad she is lighter than he is. She was suitably offended as she asked me if he'd love her less if she was dark.

    However, his concern came from being singled out by nuns and teachers in Catholic school in the 50s-60s, including having his first and last names anglo-cized and being told he was stupid. He's olive skinned and wouldn't stand out in an all-white crowd any more than the average Greek or Italian.

    A friend of mine from South Dakota was forbidden by her stepdad to date Native Americans, this despite the fact that she (and her mother) were heavily Sioux, something that showed blatantly on my friend's skin whenever my friend got any sun.

    I grew up watching my father's side of the family treat my mother, who was Catholic and second generation in this country, as less white than they are (her half-Croatian skin turned wonderfully nut brown in summer sun). Oddly, our side of the family is doctorates, while dad's is a Springer episode.

    Perhaps ironically, my PR friend and I both prefer darker people (as I inherited my father's side skin coloring and the Croatian darker hair, I am too light for her tastes). While in a bar in Indiana last night, I kept thinking how, to me, the middle-aged bleach blondes resembled grubs while the Asian behind the bar was much more attractive.

    I feel more comfortable around mixed groups myself. My brother-in-law is black, while my sister-in-laws are Hindi and Irish. My late fiancee` was descended on her father's side from a Russian Jew who married a Cherokee man. The younger brother and sister who favored mom's northern European heritage seemed to have been her favorites.

    Perhaps the women in this film who found that people outside African-American culture think their skin is beautiful should date outside the African-American community?

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    I have a two women friends whose families are from Nigeria. They are dark complected and go through the same type of dumb stuff within their families. People with low self esteem and poor self image will never see your beauty. Don't fret about it. The members of your family that treat you the way they do have insecurities that go way beyond the hurt you feel otherwise they would never be unkind to you. You look pretty fine to me and to other self assured men. There are more men like me. One is waiting to meet you.

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    Hi Jessica,

    I am Cheryl L. Bedford, the Line Producer of "Dark Girls". Bill Duke sent me your blog "I HATE Being Black". I try to read all the blogs that people have posted about "Dark Girls". I feel that if our fans take time out of their day to write about us, I should read the posts.

    I don't usually make comments, though I do give shout outs on our FB page. You will be getting one. But your blog was so honest, thought provoking and funny, that I felt compelled to comment.

    Screw what everyone else thinks, you do what you need to do to realize just how incredibly gorgeous you are.

    How's that for a comment?

    Thank you for blog!

    Sincerely,
    Cheryl L. Bedford
    Line Producer - "Dark Girls"

  • In reply to CherylB:

    wow THANK YOU!

  • In reply to CherylB:

    Message well stated, Jessica. Found you through MWDAS. There's so much heart and beauty in this video, and you've made a personal connection with it. I've shared this on my Facebook page.

  • In reply to CherylB:

    Aweschum post! Nikki from MWDAS sent me. I also shared this on my fb page.
    I was with a black man for 5 years and we have a son together. I learned a lot about the black culture in this country, and the crazy amount of discrimination that happens within the community, because of the varying colors that black people can be.
    His mom never wanted him dating a white woman, either. Too bad for her. LOL

    It's great that you are now able to embrace your beauty and love yourself for who you are. :)

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    If thats you in the picture at the beginning of this article you are gorgeous and I would ask you out in a second,and i would would be proud to have you mother any offspring of mine!!!!!!

  • In reply to rgrguitar:

    Now that made my day and yes that is me LOL

  • In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    I am learning so much from all of you guys. Thanks so much for even caring about this issue. It is a mainstream concern but is viewed as a figment of some peoples imagination. I'm glad we have proof that there is a problem and we need to address it not only within the black community but all!

  • In reply to JessicaLaShawn:

    Jessica,

    I'm a producer with a new NYC talk show and we are doing a show on people who hate their race. I read your story and find it compelling. If you are willing to share your story or know people who have done extreme things to fight against who they are please let me know. My email is nyctalkguest@gmail.com. Thanks!!

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    In reply to CaliforniaLove:

    I am the same boat. I don't even consider myself to be light --- but I've typically had many issues with dark skinned women... I mean very bad. Even to this day, I can't say I have had a close dark skinned friend. I never understood why they hated me, and to this day... when I reflect on my youth... I still don't get it.

    As an adult, I just ignore the tension. I don't have time for it. When it comes to my race, its blacks that question where I come from... not any other race, they may not know what I am... but they know when its all said and done my people/heritage come from all over.

    I hate explaining how I look :)

    - Masha

    www.globalblackwomen.com

  • In reply to Camille:

    From my friend Mark the lawyer via the Twitter:

    "Color is a legally protected trait under Title VII"

  • In reply to Camille:

    I do understand how being talked down to hurts. I am white-and short. I always got teased for being short and skinny (years ago for skinny). I think humans have to find something to talk down to others to "feel good" about themselves! Those people have low self esteem and have to say something about you rather than look at themselves. It is shameful and disgusting. And hard not to take it personally. All shades and shapes and heights are good-in God's eyes. WE can give ourselves good words about ourselves.
    When someone makes a comment about your looks-ask them why they said that. You will be surprised how the person will be embarrassed and have to think about their words. I hope this helps. It has taken me years to figure that out. I wish you the best and love for being a good person!

  • Ahhhh thank you! Other races love my skin but oddly the black community is obsessed and use it to classify class.

  • I don't know why people even care about skin color. We are all different shades. I used to read my kids a book when they were little and it talked about all the different shades of skin. Please don't hate having darker skin. I think it's beautiful. Even more, your skin color doesn't define who you are. That's a powerful video. Brings tears to my eyes. Good luck with your group!

  • Sadly its a mental thing. I love myself NOW because I had a mentor that taught me how to value myself. Which is what I am going to do with other Dark Skin girls through my foundation. Its such a silly thing to have make or break you. The video was serious I agree. Do you think it will have the chance to go main stream?

  • In reply to JessicaLaShawn:

    I'm not sure, but I hope so. I put it up on my FB page.

  • In reply to JessicaLaShawn:

    Well thank you for that!

  • I am not sure what to think. I am a tad confused. I am black and very light skinned. My whole life I was teased and tormented for it by my own community. My cousins, classmates, friends and even a couple adults used to refer to me as "high yellow," "white boy," and "piss yellow." They hurt as much then as they do today. I tried everything to be darker to fit in with my own race and lessen my bullying. It didn't work. Colorism, to which you Jessica are a victim, is very psychologically damaging. In your case, you are not African but African American but rather than say the "American" part, you say Africa which suggests to me that you are saddened by your own country men and women and their treatment of you. Until you are comfortable saying I am Jessica, American black girl, you will still be a victim of the psychological effects of colorism. As am I. I say this with love and understanding. I am your opposite by way of complexion, but boy do we share similar pain.

    A link to my story printed in a magazine last fall: http://dialectmagazine.com/2010/09/01/they-call-me-mellow-yellow-2/

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    hi lol...i found these blog because i have fun searching on google "i hate blacks".i am black to from a country named cape verd but its so funny seeing ignorant people talking about black people because they say a lot of bad things about us and i always put my comment telling them about my life lol...but keep it up this blog is great...btw i love all womans but an african WOMAN no need to say more lol peace

  • fb_avatar

    I was made fun of soo much for being dark skinned when I was little. I was told my skin was the color of feces by this Puerto Rican black chick. At a young age, I didn't understand about skin color but my mom would constantly ask me if I'd showered, insisting I looked too dark and dirty. She didn't like her own skin either. My father is caramel and I always blamed her for giving me this dark complexion. It's been forever since I was made fun of for being too dark but it doesn't really matter because I don't feel beautiful in my own skin. I feel discomfort. No matter how much makeup I wear or how cute I dress or how my hair is done, I still feel ugly! I get compliments all the time and all they do is make me more insecure because all I see is blackness. A lot of guys like me but the ones I like always seem to be interested in nothing but sexual advances. I've often wondered why but after watching the video on this page, I wonder if it's because of my skin color once again. I notice a lot of the black girls that are always in relationships, tend to be light skinned and that boys are generally more serious and respectful of them. They put them more on a pedestal. I really have seriously considered bleaching my skin because I don't want this holding me back for the rest of my life. It just feels like I will never see my self as good enough and guys will only put up with my dark skin because of my butt/body shape! I will never be good enough to hold hands with in public. It's really sad and I hate admitting that I hate my dark skin but I think the first step in fixing your belief, is admitting your feelings.

  • Hi Jasmine, I created this account just to respond. I myself am an African American female. I'm 18 years old and have been dealing with a simular issue. I have light skin, however, I still feel like people judge me because I am black. I have very low self esteem and would say that I am in that stage where I do not have self love. In highschool people would say I am the prettiest girl, every guy tried to be my boyfriend, and even now that I am in college I still get all the same male attention. A part of me knows that I am pretty but somehow along the way I lost my confidence and I feel that people judge me because I am black. My low self esteem has turned into depression and is affecting significant things in my life such as school, and my relationship that I have with my boyfriend. Pleae help ! -could you recomend a counselor or anything that could help thank you.

  • I TRULY HATE MY BLACKNESS! I BEEN BLACK ALL MY LIFE, AND I WISH I WAS WHITE, I DONT CARE WHAT ANYONE SAYS OR THINK. I LOOK AROUND AND I'VE ALWAYS NOTICED FROM JUST PEOPLE WATCHING TO LOOKING THROUG A MAGAZINE, NO MATTER WHAT.........WHITE FOLKS LOOK BETTER AND SOOTHING TO THEY EYE THAN BLACK FOLKS. WHEN I WOULD SEE A BLACK MODEL, THE CLOTHES OR WHATEVER SHE WAS MODELING DID NOT LOOK AS GOOD TO ME, AS IT WOULD IF IT WERE A WHITE MODEL. NOW I SEE WHY LITTLE KIDS WOULD PICK THE "WHITE" DOLL OVER THE "BLACK" DOLL. I'VE THOUGHT LONG AND HARD ABOUT ALL OF THIS.....AND I'VE COME TO MANY CONCLUSIONS BUT THE FINAL CONCLUSION IS...."IF GOD WAS SO JUST, THEN WHY DIDN'T HE MAKE US ALL THE SAME". WHY BLACKS GOTTA BE BLACK. WE ARE THE ONLY ETHNICITY WITH THE WORSE HAIR, BIGGEST NOSE, BIGGEST BUTTS, BIGGEST BREAST, WORSE LANGUAGE, NASTIEST/JEALOUS ATTITUDE, DUMBEST BRAINS, EVEN THE ASIANS WERE BLESSED TO HAVE ONE OF THE BEST BRAINS. WE (BLACKS) HAVE NO INNOVATIVE MINDS, CREATIVE MINDS OR JUST PLAIN OLE "LIVE OUTSIDE THE BOX" . I TELL YOU, IF IT WERENT FOR THE WIHTE MAN, THE WORLD WOULD NEVER BE DISCOVERED!! WHY? BECAUSE BLACKS ARE TOO SCARED TO VENTURE OUT AND DO ANYTHING BEYOND WHAT THEY CAN SEE! JUST PATHETIC, I LOOK AT HOW OUR HAIR IS FROM EVERY OTHER ETHNICITY. WE (BLACKS) ARE THE ONLY ONES WITH THE WORSE HAIR, WE ARE THE ONLY ETHNICITY THAT HAVE TO FIND SOME HARSH/CANCER CAUSING CHEMICAL TO STRAIGHTEN OUR HAIR OUT. WHITE FOLKS, MEXICANS, ASIANS AND EVERRRRRRRRRRRRYONE ELSE HAVE THE SAME STRINGY HAIR, US BLACKS GOT BOB-WIRE AZZ HAIR! WHY DID GOD CREATE US LIKE THIS? WHITE FOLKS CAN WASH THEIR HAIR AND LET IT BLOW IN THE WIND. BLACK FOLKS CAN WASH THEIR HAIR AND IT REPELS WIND, WATER, AND EVERY OTHER ELEMENT OF THE EARTH.....RIDICULOUS! I AM REALLY PISSED OFF ABOUT BEING BLACK, SERIOUSLY!! WE ARE THE ONLY ETHNICITY THAT HAS BEEN TREATED THE WORSE ON THE EARTH. WE WERE CONSIDERED DIRT BACK THEN AND TRUTH BE TOLD, WE'RE STILL CONSIDERED DIRT TODAY. ITS PATHETIC BEING BLACK. OPPORTUNITIES WERE PASSED BY US, STARTING BUSINESSES, AND EQUAL CHANCES BECAUSE WE WERE BORN UGLY AND BLACK. WE DIDNT ASK TO COME INTO THIS WORLD, WE DIDN'T ASK TO BE BLACK, I WANT TO ASK GOD, WHY DID YOU MAKE US LIKE THIS? WHY COULDN'T WE ALL BE WHITE, WITH MAYBE DIFFERENT HAIR OR EYES OR SPEECH, WHY THE COLOR CHANGE? KNOWING THAT IT WAS GOING TO CAUSE US DEEP HARDSHIP FROM THE TIME WE WERE BORN TIL THE TIME WE DIE. WOW! I REALLY HATE BEING BLACK, NO DOUBT ABOUT IT. WHEN I'M REINCARCINATED, I WANT TO COME BACK WHITE, BLUE EYED, BLONDE AND RE-LIVE A "GOOD LIFE" LIKE ALL THE OTHER WHITE FOLKS OF AMERCIA!!!! BEING BLACK IS SO UNFAIR. THEN OUR ANCESTORS, PARENTS, GRANDPARENTS WANT TO SAY "BLACK IS BEAUITUFL", SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT, PLEASE! BLACK IS UGLY AND A HARDSHIP .ITS NEVER BEEN NICE TO BE BLACK, WHITE FOLKS DONT WANT US AROUND, THEY THINK WE JUST HUMAN ROACHES, OTHER NATIONALITIES EVEN LOOK AT US CRAZY CAUSE THE WHTIE MAN LOOKED AT US CRAZY FROM THE BEGINNING. WERE THE LEAST AND BOTTOM OF THE TODEM POLE! JUST PATHETIC!! WHO DOES THAT? WE DO? WE'RE THE BOTTOM OF THE BUCKET, WE DONT WANT TO WORK, WE DONT WANT AN EDUCATION, WE JUST WANT TO SIT UP AND EAT WATERMELON AND FRIED CHICKEN AND BE ON WELFARE, WE'RE THE ONLY ETHNICITY THAT IS COOL WITH IT. SURE THERE ARE OTHER ETHNICITIES ON WELFARE, BUT NOT LIKE US BLACK FOLKS!! WE ARE THE WORSE. YES, I HATE BEING BLACK, AND I REALLY DONT GIVE A RATS AZZ WHAT OTHERS MAY THINK ABOUT MY OPINION, CAUSE THATS MY OPINION AND NOT YOURS, DONT LIKE THEN DONT READ! I HATE BEING BLACK! MAKE US ALL WHITE NEXT TIME GOD, THAT WAY WE DONT HAVE TO LIVE SUCH A HARDSHIP IN THIS LIFE!

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    In reply to black as tar:

    Hold up...first things first. You are what you believe you are. If you believe that you are ugly, no good, trash, worthless, pathetic, and a complete waste of a piece of humanity, then you are because your actions and your outlook will ultimately display those thought patterns. If you believe that you are a success, not a mistake, a king/queen (yes we do have African kings and queens in our blood), and the navigator of your own destiny, then you are! It's all about perceptions. All of the self-hate will not make you a winner in today's society. We have a black man who is currently the president of the United States, a world famous pediatric neurosurgeon by the name of Dr. Ben Carson, we have famous actors and actresses, athletes, scientists both past and present, entertainers, musicians, artists, playwrights and directors, professors, lawyers, inventors, philosophers, civil rights activists, pastors, novelists, astronauts, and the list can definitely continue. There are so many examples of black people who have achieved so much DESPITE what society told them. I am disappointed in your post because it is of self-pity, not of self-empowerment. I want to help you see that you are not what you say you are. And to curse God?? God made us beautifully unique, love. Do not pay attention to what mainstream society says. It does not make it true, unless you believe it to be true. But then, you will only be defeating yourself, and even more tragic, not once did you pick up your weapon (your mind) and give yourself a fighting chance. You didn't need society to blow that chance for you because you've already made it up in your heart that you aren't worth it....but you are :-)

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    I'm dark skinned and I hate it. I hate it mainly because of other blacks. They assume I'm "ghetto" and try to talk fucking Ebonics to me and when I ask them to just talk normal to me most of them don't even understand English enough to do so. I feel like I'm part of a ignorant race. I just want to be white or something similar so I can fit in and instead of worrying what people think I want to worry about what topic to talk about next or about asking the awesome guy out next to me. I haven't met one black guy that isn't an ignorant, thinks he's a pimp, ebonic talking, wanna be ghetto, piece of crap. Thank God for white men!

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    In reply to Djkssa Dkaslk:

    You need to be proud of who you are. If you're not proud of yourself, then who else is going to have pride in having you as their date/boyfriend/fiance/husband no matter what his ethnicity. I know it can be difficult because we have a bad reputation (as a people), but hold your head up high because you are an individual who is representing herself, not other people who may come off as ignorant or distasteful. If anything, be an example to younger generations who may share the same struggles as you do. Don't talk down to other people but TEACH them and encourage them. If they refute the knowledge, then life will teach them a few harsh lesson regardless. Don't generalize. All people are responsible for themselves including potential, conduct, and intellect. I don't care if a person is green with blue zebra stripes. Be well :) Much love and happiness to you.

  • .
    THE REASON for all of this Intra-ETHNIC conflict
    can be summed up in one (1) phrase -- and that
    phrase is the racist-'One-Drop Rule' (ODR):
    .
    The racist-'One-Drop Rule' (ODR) is THE
    REASON that for generations, MILLIONS
    Mixed-Race people who were / are of a
    part-Black lineage were (falsely) placed
    into the "racial" categorization of 'Black'
    .
    And -- because of the racist-'One-Drop Rule' --
    the 'Mixed-Race Face' ("light skin") suddenly
    came to symbolize the look of "the new Negro".
    .
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/vieilles_annonces/3207586871/in/photostream/

    (Jet magazine / January 31, 1952)
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/l.php?u=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fvieilles_annonces%2F3014534998%2Fsizes%2Fl%2Fin%2Fphotostream&h=vAQGymnZjAQH4BcobBe7oVM3YBQolWStvSQn4nCLD_2QVsQ
    (Jet magazine / December 17, 1953)
    .
    RELATED LINKS:
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    --- There's No such thing as a "light-skinned black" person
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4160

    http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/309460495741441
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/279341645455647
    .
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4157
    .
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/300777016632181
    .
    http://www.facebook.com/allpeople.gifts/posts/279341645455647
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    ‎-- The Black-And-White-World of 'Walter Plecker' & 'Naomi Drake'
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4179
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4180
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4186
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    -- How an act of 'Loving' destroyed a racist "rule"
    .
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4162
    .
    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4187
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    More Links
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    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4152
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    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/4153
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    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/3331
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    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/1399
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    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/1034
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    http://groups.yahoo.com/group/Generation-Mixed/message/1032
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  • fb_avatar

    Jessica you are sooo beautiful! I can't believe those lies are still floating around as if we are still floating around. Again, you are beautiful. I'm sorry for all the pain that your family and others have put you through in the past. Trust me, they did it because they were fed lies or were once abused themselves. Your natural skin complexion is portal to your ancestry and it is rich, vibrant, luxurious, and (dare I say) sexy (no homo). Also, beauty is highly subjective between societies and cultures. It is because we live in the United States that light skin, blue/green eyes, and curly hair are favored. But guess what? That's beautiful too! All women are beautiful because nature made us the way we were intended to me made. If we weren't meant to be born the way we are, we wouldn't be existing. Inner beauty is also important because it never fades unlike physical traits. But remember to keep your head up, love others but love YOURSELF, live life and choose to be happy :-) From one queen to another.

  • fb_avatar

    As a 17 year old girl, and I too like many others do not like my "mixed" (75% black 25% English, my moms mixed) skin even though I am compared a lot to a Rihanna and Megan Good mix. Whatever that's suppose to mean. I've always hated the way I look and still to this day despise my apperence. I recently participaited the Link's Cottilion, here in Arizona. For my parents thought it would boost my self confidence and acceptence for my culture. The experience did allow me to love my culture more, but looks, not so much. For during one conversation with some of my fellow debs and escorts, we had brought up the conversation of white girls and how they are more appealing. From then on I have become obsesed to find out why black woman hate their appearence. This article has brought tears to my eyes, due to the fact that I CAN relate to every woman in that video. It scares me to see what my life will bring. For I want to love my self and feel comfortable in my own skin but I have no clue how. I've talked to may people, but have no idea what to do anymore. If anyone has any new ideas I would appreciate it for I speak behalf of a few girls out here in East Mesa. Thanks for the time. Jewell

  • fb_avatar

    Dark skin is beautiful. So is tan,olive, and creamy white.

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