Posts tagged "Banana Peel Society"

Jennifer Lawrence and my 3rd degree burns

Jennifer Lawrence and I have something in common, besides the unoriginal first name. She is a member of the Banana Peel Society. If I were to ever find myself winning an Oscar, you can bet any amount of money I’d take a spill on the way UP the steps (That takes true talent. Anyone can... Read more »

This is what happens when a banana peel like me drops a knife ...

Ok, thankfully, stitches not required and my husband cleans up blood from the floor and does quite the paper towel & scotch tape tourniquet. Thank you, Dr. Ronay! G0d help me. I’m staying away from anything flammable today … What’s the klutziest, most banana peely thing you’ve done recently? Tell me in the comments. Please.... Read more »

Worst Waiter Ever?

H and I sit down and he takes our drink orders right away.   He scurries off behind the bar. We wait. And wait. He brings our drinks and looks at us with that “Have any questions about the menu?” look. Me: Can we get menus? He then does what can only be described as a ‘Chris... Read more »

The Science of Annoyance

The Science of Annoyance
There might be a scientific reason for why we get peeved over certain things.  Joe Palca, an NPR science correspondent, and Flora Lichtman, multimedia editor for NPR’s Science Friday, explore the science behind annoyance in a new book appropriately titled “Annoying: The Science of What Bugs Us.” It was just this morning that I was... Read more »

Yesterday, as I was getting on the Red Line on my way home ...

My eyes were glued to my phone.  I was reading something about winning and being from Mars and tiger blood.    Still, I have enough peripheral vision to see that the train had arrived, that the door was opening to my left, that I had to walk approximately four feet to get on the train... Read more »

Overheard in Chicago

Woman on bus, grasping at her ears, horrified: Oh my G0d, I wore two different earrings to work. Oh my G0d, I can’t believe it. Nobody said anything. Idiot.  Kidding!  Actually, this reminds me of the time I put on my lash primer, which everyone knows is white, and then got dressed and forgot to... Read more »

Thank you, United Airlines

Thank you, United Airlines
Two days ago, I booked a flight to somewhere warm.  But, I screwed up when I booked the flight as leaving in February and coming back one month and two days later.  Oops.  (And, I wish.)  How could I not notice when I hit “Purchase?”  Well, I didn’t.  And, I was so mad at myself.... Read more »

The good thing about falling on your ass

If you’re holding two glasses of water in your hands (you’re thirsty) and you walk back to your desk and attempt to sit down before placing the water on the table and the chair has wheels and it rolls back, you’ll fall on your ass and spill water everywhere. But, the good thing is…1/ your... Read more »

I just put grapes in the freezer

And, I wasn’t trying to make frozen grapes to snack on later. And, I forgot my cell phone charger today. And, yesterday, I tried to use my MTA card instead of my CTA card.  There’s money on this card. I just added money the other day! WTF! Oh, this is my MTA card. And, this... Read more »

The Banana Peel Society

Flicks her hair and falls off the bed.  Terrible driver.  Total banana peel.  And, totally fabulous!
If everyone would please quiet down so I can call this meeting to order.  Thank you very much.  Ok, let me first take attendance.  Beyonce KnowlesMeredith Vieira on ice skatesJennifer Lopez at the AMAJennifer Lopez in The Wedding PlannerThe character of Cher Horowitz in CluelessSandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality If you’re wondering why you’re here,... Read more »