How to sell your home … with the help of a statue

Every red-blooded Italian American knows.

It's practically common knowledge.

I mean, honestly, how does everyone not know this perfectly logical, perfectly valid technique for the sale of a home?

It's simple.  You get a statue of St. Joseph.
You bury it,
upside down,
facing the street,
on your front lawn.

Of course.

So, shortly after H and I put our apartment on the market, we went home to New Jersey for a first holy communion and naturally, the topic came up.

Them: Lots of luck on the sale of your home, sweetheart.  … Did ya bury a St. Joseph statue?

Me: No.

Them: Upside down, facing the street, on your front lawn?

Me: No.

Them: No?

Me: No. We don't have a front lawn.  It's an apartment.

Them: So get a plant!

Me: Oh. Ok.

But, we can't have plants in our place because Magoo, our cat, eats the leaves and then throws up.  Cat vomit on the floor during a showing does not, I'm pretty sure, help you sell your home.

So, H and I, in our infinite ingenuity and wisdom, did the creative thing.

We bought a St. Joseph statue and
buried him
upside down,
facing the street,
in a box of litter.

Of course.

Fresh Step. Scented and scoopable with odor shield protection.

Yes, H is Jewish and I'm Italian and Roman Catholic so here we are with a mezuzah in the doorway and a St. Joseph statue buried upside down, facing the street, in a box of cat litter.

What can I say, we honor and respect all religions.

And, it worked.

In the spirit of Roses, thank you St. Joseph for wiggling your toes and selling our home.  We have a special place for you in our new abode in L.A.  Oh yeah, St. Joseph is going Hollywood. Look out.

st joe

~~~

Thank you for reading!
Please be sure to follow me on Facebook here and Twitter @FernRonay to keep up with Stop and Blog the Roses L.A. Edition. 

What is Stop and Blog the Roses? If Sex and the City and Chicken Soup for the Soul had a love child, it'd be Roses.  Check out Featured Entries below.

A Fern Grows in Jersey
How to Talk with a New Jersey Accent
Real Housewives of NJ: A Cafface Experience
The Heaven and Hell of the High School Reunion
Inside a New Jersey Tanning Salon
I've developed a strange habit since moving to Chicago
Middle School: Was it Middle Hell for you?

Spiritual/Religion/The Church of Just Be Nice
Do you believe in signs?
Tests I've Failed
The Book that Changed my Life
99 Ways to Be Kind Without Spending a Dime

On Love & Marriage
Six Assumptions Not to Make About the Child Free
Kmart Ship My Pants: I married a very punny Jew
A Bar Mitzvah & a Teal Prom Dress: Do you believe in Destiny?
Have you encountered the BABY BULLIES?
How to Live in Interfaith Harmony
Use the Fine China Already: The Story of a Wedding Painting

Travel Tales
Asheville, NC: The Greatest Show on Earth
Let's Play the "Airline did WHAT?" Game

On Writing
Killing the Angel: A Writing Must
Why do I write?
How to ... BLOG!
She Writes Chicago Event

Funny Things Happen on the Way to Being Ferny
See me on the Steve Harvey Show
Jennifer Lawrence and my Third Degree Burns
One thing you should probably not say in a taxi
Price Check on Panties
I Broke Up with My Doctor
I Hate Cirque du Soleil
The Chicago Bears Fan from New York
Easy Tomato Sauce Recipe: Ban 'Sketti' Forever
Observed at the Nail Salon
Unlikely Football Fans: Me and a Pair of Nuns

And More
Are Smartphones the new smoke break?
Your tan may be killing you
Have girls gotten meaner?
Getting older: The final telltale sign for me
When I was the Bar-tender, a/k/a legal blogger

Lists, Lists, Lists - Love researching them, writing them, listing them here ~ 
Boobs in the Workplace: A Guide to Summer Office Attire
5 Reasons to Go to Your High School Reunion
If my favorite 80s and 90s movie characters had iPhones
8 Holiday Disaster Stories: Your holidays will never be this bad ... or this ridiculous
7 Reasons Not To Drink and Drive
Stupid Things Ex-Boyfriends Say
10 Stories of Love Gone Crazypants
Commencement Speakers and their Good Advice
14 Breakable Wedding Traditions
Oscar Speeches: 8 Notable Lines from Oscar Acceptance Speeches
14 Celebrity Quotes Taken Out of Context
Famous Jennifers
Celebrities who've had braces
10 Celebrities and the Restaurants they Love

Thank you for reading Stop and Blog the Roses. Follow Fern Ronay on TWITTER @fernronay and on FACEBOOK here.

See more of Fern Ronay's blog posts organized into neat little groups on her Storify page here.

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