How to sell your home … with the help of a statue

Every red-blooded Italian American knows.

It's practically common knowledge.

I mean, honestly, how does everyone not know this perfectly logical, perfectly valid technique for the sale of a home?

It's simple.  You get a statue of St. Joseph.
You bury it,
upside down,
facing the street,
on your front lawn.

Of course.

So, shortly after H and I put our apartment on the market, we went home to New Jersey for a first holy communion and naturally, the topic came up.

Them: Lots of luck on the sale of your home, sweetheart.  … Did ya bury a St. Joseph statue?

Me: No.

Them: Upside down, facing the street, on your front lawn?

Me: No.

Them: No?

Me: No. We don't have a front lawn.  It's an apartment.

Them: So get a plant!

Me: Oh. Ok.

But, we can't have plants in our place because Magoo, our cat, eats the leaves and then throws up.  Cat vomit on the floor during a showing does not, I'm pretty sure, help you sell your home.

So, H and I, in our infinite ingenuity and wisdom, did the creative thing.

We bought a St. Joseph statue and
buried him
upside down,
facing the street,
in a box of litter.

Of course.

Fresh Step. Scented and scoopable with odor shield protection.

Yes, H is Jewish and I'm Italian and Roman Catholic so here we are with a mezuzah in the doorway and a St. Joseph statue buried upside down, facing the street, in a box of cat litter.

What can I say, we honor and respect all religions.

And, it worked.

In the spirit of Roses, thank you St. Joseph for wiggling your toes and selling our home.  We have a special place for you in our new abode in L.A.  Oh yeah, St. Joseph is going Hollywood. Look out.

st joe


Thank you for reading!
Please be sure to follow me on Facebook here and Twitter @FernRonay to keep up with Stop and Blog the Roses L.A. Edition. 

What is Stop and Blog the Roses? If Sex and the City and Chicken Soup for the Soul had a love child, it'd be Roses.  Check out Featured Entries below.

A Fern Grows in Jersey
How to Talk with a New Jersey Accent
Real Housewives of NJ: A Cafface Experience
The Heaven and Hell of the High School Reunion
Inside a New Jersey Tanning Salon
I've developed a strange habit since moving to Chicago
Middle School: Was it Middle Hell for you?

Spiritual/Religion/The Church of Just Be Nice
Do you believe in signs?
Tests I've Failed
The Book that Changed my Life
99 Ways to Be Kind Without Spending a Dime

On Love & Marriage
Six Assumptions Not to Make About the Child Free
Kmart Ship My Pants: I married a very punny Jew
A Bar Mitzvah & a Teal Prom Dress: Do you believe in Destiny?
Have you encountered the BABY BULLIES?
How to Live in Interfaith Harmony
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On Writing
Killing the Angel: A Writing Must
Why do I write?
How to ... BLOG!
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See me on the Steve Harvey Show
Jennifer Lawrence and my Third Degree Burns
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I Broke Up with My Doctor
I Hate Cirque du Soleil
The Chicago Bears Fan from New York
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Observed at the Nail Salon
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Thank you for reading Stop and Blog the Roses. Follow Fern Ronay on TWITTER @fernronay and on FACEBOOK here.

See more of Fern Ronay's blog posts organized into neat little groups on her Storify page here.

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