It's simple. You get a statue of St. Joseph.
You bury it,
facing the street,
on your front lawn.
Shortly after H and I put our apartment on the market, we went home to New Jersey for a first holy communion and naturally, the topic came up.
Them: Lots of luck on the sale of your home, sweetheart. … Did ya bury a St. Joseph statue?
Them: Upside down, facing the street, on your front lawn?
Me: No. We don't have a front lawn. It's an apartment.
Them: So get a plant!
Me: Oh. Ok.
But, we can't have plants in our place because Magoo, our cat, eats the leaves and then throws up. Cat vomit on the floor during a showing does not, I'm pretty sure, help you sell your home.
So, H and I, in our infinite ingenuity and wisdom, did the creative thing.
We bought a St. Joseph statue and
facing the street,
in a box of litter.
Fresh Step. Scented and scoopable with odor shield protection.
Yes, H is Jewish and I'm Italian and Roman Catholic so here we are with a mezuzah in the doorway and a St. Joseph statue buried upside down, facing the street, in a box of cat litter.
And, it worked.
In the spirit of Roses, thank you St. Joseph for wiggling your toes, doing your thing and selling our home. We have a special place for you in our new abode in L.A. Oh yeah, St. Joseph is going Hollywood. Look out.
Thank you for reading!
Please be sure to follow me on Facebook here and Twitter @FernRonay to keep up with Stop and Blog the Roses L.A. Edition.
What is Stop and Blog the Roses? If Sex and the City and Chicken Soup for the Soul had a love child, it'd be Roses. Check out the Featured Entries page.
Fern Ronay relocated to Los Angeles in 2014. Her first novel, Better in the Morning, the story of a single 29-year-old Manhattan lawyer who is guided in her dreams by her dead Italian grandparents, is available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble. Follow the hashtag #BetterInTheMorningBook on social media and follow Fern on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and Snapchat @FernRonay.
Filed under: Life in Chicago