I recall, a long time ago, reading Gilda Radner's memoir where she described smoking as her "exclamation point in life."
She admitted, unabashedly, that she loved smoking (sadly, she later succumbed to ovarian cancer) and she would light up after meals, after the movies, after sex, first thing in the morning, in bed at the end of the day.
Multiple times a day, everyday.
I do something multiple times a day, everyday too! … Check my phone.
I'm a chain checker, I admit it.
But, I know I'm not the only one.
And, allow me to point out -
1. It doesn't cause lung cancer.
2. It doesn't cause stinky breath, clothes, hair.
3. It makes waiting in line at Walgreens, the supermarket, the doctor's office, everywhere, go faster.
4. It provides, among 50million other things, the weather, the news, the calories in your breakfast sandwich, what your high school prom date is thinking while waiting in line at the sandwich shop. "Status update: Going with the sloppy joe today. Bring it." Can a stick of tobacco provide such need-to-know information?
Of course, being the fair and balanced Libra that I am, one could argue -
1. You can at least make eye contact with other human beings while smoking.
2. You can smoke and drive without drastically increasing your chances of killing yourself or someone else.
3. No one ever looked sexy checking their phones.
4. A cigarette can be shared. It can be passed back and forth, post dinner, on the balcony, on a warm night. Like Bogart and Bacall. Nowadays, when we've finished dinner with a bunch of friends and everyone reaches for their phones, it doesn't feel quite as social … because it's not.
But, our smartphones aren't going anywhere. Sure, checking less and engaging in life a bit more is certainly an admirable goal (and a post for another day) but checking is a part of life now and probably will be for the rest of our lives. So, in the spirit of Roses,
I'll take health,
wealth (Verizon is still cheaper than a cigarette habit)
and being able to connect with friends and family multiple times a day, everyday.
As long as you don't pull it out during dinner (that's the equivalent of blowing smoke in someone's face - RUDE), say what you want about my, your and everyone else's phone addiction. It's our exclamation point in life. And, that's okay!
Light up! I mean, charge 'em and check 'em.
If you liked this post, you might also like If my favorite 80's and 90's movie characters had iPhones.
Thank you for reading.
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