#WeddingWednesday: Miss Havisham works at the Chicago Post Office

Text exchange between B (stands for bride) and me (a married lady of three years) ~

Me: Have you heard from everyone re the shower and bachelorette party?

B: No!  A few invitations were sent back by the post office for some reason.  So now I don't know if the non-responders either didn't get the invite or just aren't interested in coming. But what can I do? *shrugs*

Me: What you're going to do is go ballistic! You're the bride! This is your day(s)! Can't these invitees and the postal workers and everyone respect that? *makes fist*  I'm kidding ... mostly.

B: I'll let you know if I need you to bring the heat.

Me: That'll be my new gig. "She is ... the Bridal Enforcer."

This reminded me of my own bridal beef with the Chicago post office.

After my shower, I promptly authored over 50 heartfelt thank you notes, stuffed those cute little envelopes, addressed them, stamped them and put our return address in Chicago on the back of each.

A week later, I received a bunch of mail! ... about 20 of those heartfelt thank you notes returned to me.  Not a 'Return to Sender.'  Oh, no, the Chicago Post Office literally mailed my thank you notes TO ME, as if the return address on the back was where they were supposed to go.

I could just picture Miss Havisham in the back room of the post office on Dearborn and Grand, wearing a wedding dress and insisting all of the clocks be set to twenty minutes to nine, mutilating and misdirecting any mail that looks wedding related.

That bitch. I'll fix her wagon.  

I marched down to the post office only to encounter another bitch, who explained - and by 'explain' I mean her mouth was barely moving when she uttered these words and her overall demeanor screamed that she couldn't be bothered - "someone must have entered them in the machine the wrong way."

Uh, yeah, Miss Havisham.  Or is that YOU?  Do you have a daughter named Estella?

I asked if they could resend them at no charge - and by 'ask' I mean I was calm and polite but my overall demeanor screamed 'You mean there is someone that works at this post office who does not know that the side with the stamp is the mailing address? And so he - or she - entered them into the machine backwards? Wait ... am I on some candid camera show? I knew it!'

She said nothing and brought them to the back room.  I swore I heard cackling.

She returned and told the customer behind me to step forward.

I stood there like a stooge.  I eventually asked "So, they're re-sent?"

"Yeah," she said, like it was as obvious as ... as ... as ... which side of the envelope has the return address and which has the mailing address.  Duh.

~~~

In the spirit of Stop and Blog the Roses, today, I am grateful ~
1/ to all of my friends who treated my bridal events as if they were mucho importante! Because to every bride, they are.  In your spirit, I pay it forward for friends like B.  This is your day(s) and I'll be there! *makes fist* and I'll take names of those who don't RSVP on time.  *breathes fire*
2/ to the post office for kindly - not really - re-mailing all of my bridal shower thank you's.
3/ to living and learning ~ I now do the following: only go to the post office in the Hancock building (the two women who work there are so nice! No Havishams in sight) and put the return address for anything I mail in the upper left hand corner.  It gets crowded on small, thank you card envelopes but what can I do? *shrugs*

~~~
Why, yes, those are gerbera daisies I'm holding!

bridezilla

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Have you had a wedding-related mishap?  Or a postal service mishap?  Or a wedding-related mishap involving the postal service?  Tell me in the comments!

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