I'm on the beach. The sun is shining. I'm SPF'd and under the umbrella. I just finished savoring a delicious breakfast of Kona coffee and moist banana bread.
The other beach chairs are mostly empty. It's quiet and peaceful.
I close my eyes and listen to the water.
This. Is. Heaven.
What the F - ?
I pop up. To my right, no one. To my left, a gray haired gentleman. He is tan. His knee is bent, close to his chest. He is examining ... what? His feet?
Is he ... clipping his toenails? No. He can't be. This is Hawaii. If he wanted his toenails clipped, he'd overpay for a pedicure at the hotel salon. $75 for a mango infused foot massage and all the ... trimmings. I mean, come on, he wouldn't do it at the beach! EW! ... Ok, I must be delirious. I've eaten too much pineapple. It's gone to my head.
I sit back and close my eyes. I breath in the clean air.
Pop up. All the way up. I lift my sunglasses to get a better look.
This man is indeed clipping his toenails at the beach. I am not hallucinating. I try to communicate telepathically.
I am glaring at you. STOP CLIPPING YOUR TOENAILS AND LOOK AT ME.
AND THEN LOOK AWAY EMBARRASSED AND LEARN YOUR DAMN LESSON. Grooming yourself in public is a Glamour DON'T.
He never looks up.
Now, the other foot.
I make a loud combination "Ew" and "Ugh" but he's performing surgery over there. Nothing can break his concentration.
I look away and cover my ears.
I pray he doesn't move on to his fingernails.
Luckily - gratefully - he does not.
I give him a final glare, which he doesn't notice, of course, as he packs his tools away.
I sit back and exhale.
That was gross but at least it's over.
Now, I can finally go back to relaxing and snapping my gum.
You know, in peace.
Kidding about the gum. Have you ever witnessed a public display of grooming or public display of anything that bugged you? Tell me in the comments!
Thank you for reading Stop and Blog the Roses!
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