It seems like only weeks ago - because it was actually only a few weeks ago - that my news feed on Facebook was clogged with comments like "This is summer? It's still freezing. We didn't have a spring and now it looks like we're not going to have a summer!"
Now, it's clogged with "Ugh, this heat! It's like soup out there. I can't breathe!"
Yes, it's finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is but here are 8 things to be grateful for in between declarations that you're moving to Alaska ~
Any city dweller under 5' 3" has found themselves in this position: Crowded train car, people reaching over head to hold onto the pole, your face in someone's armpit. Aren't you glad you used Dial? I mean, aren't you glad they used deodorant?
Any city dweller has also found themselves in this position: Holding onto the aforementioned pole and wishing it was winter and you were wearing gloves. Ew. Yes, we know overuse causes super germs and it's no replacement for soap and water but in between the train and the nearest sink, you're thanking G0d for hand sanitizer.
H and my refrigerator broke a couple of months ago. One night, when H brought home two ice cold Snapples from the store, it was a little like Godfather 2 when Vito brings home a pear and his wife is delighted. Even though it wasn't sweltering out, a week without a refrigerator made a cold beverage feel like a luxury. "Cold Snapples? For us? (gasp) It's so collllld, so wonderfully cold!" Yeah, don't take the fridge for granted.
Oh yeah, when the refrigerator went bye bye so did the freezer and I suddenly had a new appreciation for ice cubes. And, how can one cool off in this heat without ice cream? Or Skinny Cow vanilla ice cream sandwiches? Little discs of heaven, they are.
5/ Air conditioning
Back when my mother was young, in the olden days before air conditioning, she used to sleep on the Formica table in the kitchen because it was cold. Does this look like a comfy bed?
What did people do before SPF? Got burnt and eventually wrinkly ... and sometimes worse. Lather up and thank your lucky stars!
7/ Spray tans
You've lathered on the SPF and worn a hat and stayed out of the sun between 10 and 2 but ... it's summer! You still want to look sunkissed without actually making out with the sun. I understand. Thankfully, today there is a safe and sunless way to look golden and delicious. I mean, what did people do before spray tans? Walk around pale and pasty? (Shiver and shake my head solemnly).
What did people do before sunglasses? Squinted and got crow's feet around their eyes. Sounds about as appealing as pale and pasty. Where are my Jackie O's?
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And, thank you for reading. Stay cool.