Many moons ago, on a summer day, these two girls pictured here were having a conversation over cans of Slice at G's parents' kitchen table -
It probably went something like this -
G: What are you bringing to your aunt's pool besides your bathing suit?
Me: My nose plugs.
G: I mean clothes. What are you changing into after you swim?
Me: Shirts, shorts.
G: Don't forget underwear.
Me: Oh, yeah, underwear.
It was then that G's older sister, S, who was washing a glass at the sink turned around and said:
Ladies, you are not to refer to your undergarments as underwear. Please ... they're panties.
G and I, all wide eyed and mouth breathing, nodded.
I mean, S knew everything. She was pretty with long blond hair and so much older than us. Older and cooler. She was in HIGH SCHOOL.
From then on, in conversation, I've only ever referred to my undergarments as panties.
I wanted to be considered a lady, after all. I took ballet, tap and jazz. I loved my Cabbage Patch kid. I had my own makeup and nail kits, complete with brushes and files. I was a lady.
Granted, I grew up to be a lady who -
sometimes uses the F word with glee,
sometimes drinks too much (so many varieties of martini, so little time)
sometimes - no always - as in, everyday - trips, falls, spills something on herself and/or burns herself -
but a lady, still.
Only recently did I come to realize there is a faction of the culture who finds the word panties gross.
I've seen tweets like "Ew. Do not refer to them as panties. I could vomit. Just say underwear please."
No, I will not say underwear. But, I couldn't help but wonder: How many other people feel this way? Is it possible the word panties is outdated, like saying, I don't know, 'many moons ago' for instance? Well, if so, that's fine. I'm still saying panties. I'm an old soul.
And, in the spirit of Roses, here's to
1/ your unmentionables
2/ your right to call them whatever you want
3/ G & S and all their nuggets of wisdom and help and memories and friendship. Yup, bet your drawers, they're the best!
Thank you for reading Roses.
Follow me on Twitter @FernRonay or on Facebook here.