Real lazy tips for real lazy moms

There are days I'm ON as a mom, and there are days (months, years) that I'm lazy, at best. I'm a few years into this motherhood gig, and I've picked up a few useful tips. Now, I'm not about to reinvent the wheel or anything (I'm far too lazy for that), but rather share a few things you could use to save yourself some time on the daily.

Hair care: I used to wash and dry my hair and add a ton of product to give it that stylishly disheveled look. Now, I just don't wash it. I get the same look in half the time (but legit, find yourself a good dry shampoo; it has rocked my world).

Makeup: Same idea as above; just stop wearing it. You're free to come up with a clever cover story like, "I'm living a chemical free lifestyle" or, "I'm teaching my kids about inner beauty." Whatever works for you.

Housework: You could follow along in the same vein as the above tips, but I caution you that too much inattention will eventually yield a ton of attention. And, this is where you EAT and LIVE. But hey, you don't live here alone, and you shouldn't have to clean that way.

My tip: walk past the mess until it becomes important to someone else too. Eventually my kids tripped over a matchbox car and stepped on a lego of their own. They were suddenly just as irritated by the mess as I was.

Pro tip: if this method doesn't work, yelling like a banshee *usually* does. Keep it as a back up.

Cooking: Look, food is good, but cooking sucks. They've made all kinds of cool inventions for lazy moms: microwaves, crockpots, instapots. I caution you to make some kind of lazily scrawled list before grocery day (and I recommend begging off the task of actually going to the store to get the items because all of that is awful).

School Organization: Oh, please for the love of all don't slack here. I'm cool with some dirty hair on a bare face in a disaster zone house but you DON'T want to be the one searching for the papers that needed to be turned in last week. Worse yet, you don't want to be the mom desperately packing up her little loved one's backpack and running to catch the bus as you juuuuuuussssst miss it because that shit is actually more work than just doing the work in a timely manner. Please, keep on top of this one so you can send that child (those children) off as quickly as possible.

Car organization: I recommend tinted windows. I also recommend not inviting others into your car often.

And, I'm spent. Hopefully these tips will get you through for a while. They've served me okay so far.

*Side note: I tried to swipe some ideas from Pinterest but all the pins were akin to "Lazy moms guide to spring cleaning" and I laughed, and laughed, and laughed because lazy moms don't spring clean.

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