It takes a village to get an emotional mother to Kindergarten...and I'm incredibly lucky to have a fantastic group of friends and family. Though, I'll have to admit that they might feeling like they aren't quite as lucky to have me on this fine evening. They've been working overtime enduring frantic texts, random questions, whiny Facebook posts and near-tear calls as I prepared my boy-child for his first day. And, before he even steps foot on that giant metal CAN (oh my, how can I put him on that thing without a SEATBELT?!) here's this blog, another reminder that I'm a total fucking mess.
I'm sure that none of them are surprised to see me so emotional and vulnerable, because it turns out that's how I really am. Emotional. Pretty vulnerable. Read a blog or two. I'm always feeling big feelings.
The surprise came to me (and me alone) that this is who I am, this emotional person, this mom wiping her nose on her sleeve as she turns the next chapter of her life.
Motherhood has made me soft. It seems that you can't possibly care for and foster the feelings of other humans without ignoring your own. Though they can be mini-messes of their own, I'm proud to raise two emotional boys. I sometimes wish they wouldn't cry so loudly, or so often, but each cry means they are feeling something, and sometimes something big. I'd be more worried about stoic turns and bottled feelings. And for every feeling they have, I have feelings I have to work out, usually with the help of others (because I'm terrible at processing on my own).
So, guys, we've made it this far; nearly 6 years of lessons shared and lessons learned. Our guy boards the bus and starts a new adventure. You'll have to hear about it ad nauseum , I'm sure. But, because y'all are literally the best, you'll listen, nod your head, lend your shoulder or your ear, and decide I'm a major nutjob later (or nah, because you already knew!). I'll be there for you too, because its what the villagers do. We do. And, I assure you, just like you assured me, that it's okay to be emotional and that its okay to cry.
My eye makeup is smudged, I may or may not have snot on me, and I need a cup of coffee.
Villagers: enjoy your moments tomorrow and furthermore!