"I'm back bitches."--Dan Persa at Big Ten Media Days
"Why am I here?"--Al Netter at Big Ten Media Days
"Seriously guys, Fitz hates Iowa."--Adonis Smith just outside of Big Ten Media Days
Okay, #persastrong didn't really say that, ( I can neither confirm nor deny the other two quotes) but he might as well have. He is the offense. How he goes, so goes Northwestern. It makes a serious analysis of this team rather difficult when it comes down to: DEAR GOD DANNY BE HEALTHY on offense and MAKE THE F***ING TACKLE on defense.
So with that in mind, here are ten completely random and very unserious (not a word) reasons to get FIRED UP for Northwestern football in 2011.
10. The inevitable fake Pat Fitzgerald Twitter account
How this hasn't happened yet, I have no idea. We have fake accounts for Evan Watkins, Kain Colter, a body part, Persa himself, Bill Carmody, and even one for Benedict Arnold.
So how there's no fake account for the man whose cliches and motivational tools (FINISH) border on legendary since he truly believes them is beyond me. All I know is that whoever creates it needs to be witty, we can't have another lame fake account clogging the twitter-sphere (a word I just made up, I think).
9. We have a player named Pierre Youngblood-Ary.
He probably won't play this season but this freshman wide receiver already holds the title for coolest name in the Big Ten. Plus, he's pre-med and I'm willing to bet he won't end up having the same fate of the last hyphenated Big Ten receiver.
8. The first recruiting violation of the Fitz era.
It's coming, you know it is. No one is perfect. It won't be Fitz though, and the coach who commits it will end up at the bottom of Lake Michigan. So that should make for an entertaining Fall.
7. Who is the real NU?
November 5, 2011 will be the biggest game in the history of Northwestern football. That's when they head to the land of corn: Nebraska. The winner will reserve the right to be called "NU" for a full calendar year. The loser will have to go by the less desirable initials of either JNW or UNL. The teams will bond over the fact they both hate Iowa. Nebraska will win but only because Northwestern's defensive coordinator was found at the bottom of Lake Michigan the previous week.
6. Doug Bartels is back for another year.
Ref: "Holding, on the offense, 10 yard penalty, repeat first down."
Me: "BARTELS!" Even if he's not in the game. I'm going to miss him.
5. NU doesn't have to play Wisconsin.
Montee Ball just scored another touchdown.
4. Northwestern and Illinois will play a football game at an actual football stadium
Maybe this year NU won't be a national laughingstock for scheduling a game in a stadium that is old, decrepit, and in serious need of renovations. Wait, they still play their home games at Ryan Field.
3. Dan Persa's Heisman Campaign
You might have noticed some negativity in the previous few reasons for getting fired up, but I am seriously excited for the type of season Persa could produce. This kid is tough, talented, and ready to rumble with the rest of the Big Ten this season. Look, you might think a Northwestern player even being a finalist for the Heisman is ridiculous, to which I say: Darnell Autry. And if you don't know who Darnell Autry is, why the hell are you reading this blog?
2. The inevitable emergence of Arby Fields
Oops.
1. Only 79 days until the Iowa game!
Hope we don't hurt your boys too badly.
Go 'Cats!
Filed under: Football
