Big Ten Media Day is here; which means, the season is only a month away, and it's time for those coaches to pull out their coachspeak answers to give to every single idiot 21-year-old reporter.
John L. Smith once told me of Javon Ringer "He used to not get it, then all of a sudden, click, the light went on." Smith was accustomed to showing up in cowboy boots and spewing some of the best leather he could. Nothing like some of these robots today.
But we turn it to Northwestern. Danny Persa (You must ALWAYS use the hashtag #PERSASTRONG with all your tweets now), Big Al Netter, and Jordan Mabin will answer the same questions over and over again Thursday. We wanted to put together a worst-case scenario, a sort of backwards look at what we absolutely, under no circumstances, cannot possibly hear from them.
7. Fitzgerald: "Evan Watkins is our quarterback" (Get it, Bears fans?)
6. Mabin: "We decided collectively not to play defense this year."
5. Fitzgerald: "We're bringing in Jay Cutler and Kevin Coble as special assistants at Kenosha."
4. Question from Ines Sainz: "If you could, you know, any celebrity, who would it be?" (I would really like to hear Netter answer that.)
3. Fitz: "Air Willie is back!"
2. Mabin: "I actually traded my athlete tuxedo (grey sweat suit they all wear) for some tattoos"
1. Persa: "I actually slipped on a pool of Busch Light at the Keg last night - out another 8 weeks."
ALSO: Check out Skip's practically word-for-word transcription of his conversation with Fitz. It was a coup that NU got Skip to work for them.
Filed under: Football, Uncategorized
