A to Z Challenge: W is for Waiting

A to Z Challenge: W is for Waiting

A bit of a departure today but not entirely. As far as the White Sox are concerned, and especially us, the fans, we are in a waiting mode for at least another year. It isn't a bad wait either, as long as they keep playing relatively good baseball. I don't know about everyone else, but so far, the White Sox having been a bad watch this season. It might be the low to non-existent expectations for the year but my annual feeling of ennui hasn't hit yet. Also, when I tune in late, the game isn't already out of hand. No one predicted a playoff run for this group and we knew that going in. So every game becomes a singular moment, kind of like the old Cubs days, especially the late 1990s. I worked security at Wrigley from 1996-1998 and, yes the party was still on, but there was a joy of just being at the ballpark, maybe Sammy would hit one out and maybe they would win. If not, and much like the 2017 White Sox, the feeling is, "oh well. Get 'em tomorrow!" and on the day goes. I don't think the expectation meter will go up much further in 2018 either. But come 2019, expectations for a push should be there. If some results don't start to pop by then, Rick Hahn might have some explaining to do.

Admittedly, the waiting for the White Sox isn't what made me think about this topic (not a bad opening paragraph though.) No, I'm in a waiting pattern in other aspects of my life. It isn't as stress free as waiting for the future White Sox. I'm in the process of...career discernment. It's sort of like a job hunt, but especially where I sit now, I don't want to hop to a new job for the sake of a new job. That's kind of how I got where am currently, which isn't good. So far I've got some vague ideas about what's next, but some pretty clear ideas of what's NOT next. There is some activity involved, but there is a great deal of immediate waiting, (why haven't I heard about that interview???) to more metaphysical waiting (this too shall pass. In God's time, not my time, blah, blah, blah.) The situation will change and I know I have a part in it, but I'd like it to move faster.

The other feeling I can't seem to shake is one of impending doom. I haven't written much about it, but the financial realities of modern living in a metropolis kind of sucks. When it gets really bad, I basically go to bed worrying about money and wake up worrying about money. It's a feeling of being just one step ahead of the collector, every month. The last bill gets paid on the 27th and on to the next month, every month. Summer is particularly hard. Not only does CPS not pay its teachers for two months, but there are the extra expenses of camp, some vacation time and the ever present bonus bill. During the year the bonus bill isn't so bad, but in the summer it can throw things off. I wish all parts of my summer were as stress free as watching the White Sox.

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