I am not a white person, I just play one on TV: Protecting My Identity

I am clearly not white.

However, my peers think I am because I love rock music. I'm not talking the music The Roots play in between sets to show their musical ability but the Metallica type of blow-your-wig-back type of rock. I love hip-hop too and any other sort of music that has heart. That doesn't make me white, just musically diverse.

I am not white.

Yet, I enjoy going to the movies and not talking on my cell phone. I am not saying all non-whites do...but I am always shushing the ones that do and they look at me like I am insane. Like who the hell am I, with my black ass, to shush them. MY black ass paid $11.50 to watch a gotdamn movie in peace. Turn off the damn phone.

I am not a white person.

However, I don't like the f*cking Diabetic-Tea that Mcdonald's assumes all black people like. The squirrel faced cashier puts her hands on her hips, wrings and rotates her neck and says, "You know, you ordered unsweetened tea?" My face said, "You're shitting me? I thought when I said unsweetened tea, it is supposed to have a load of sugar in it." Moral of the story: I don't like Sweet Tea.

I am not white.

Yet, that bitch from the Popeye's commercial pisses me off. Her fake New Orleans accent (I know because I have folks in Nawlins) makes me nauseous...but I just can't quit the chicken. Love it... Annie (I think that's her name), needs to stop trying so hard.

I am not a white chick.

However, I enjoy wine in a box. MY non-white friends have asked politely, "Who the f*ck drinks wine out of a box?"

That was polite, trust me.
I answer sheepishly, "You don't?" I enjoy Franzia and think it is the next best thing, close to sliced bread.

I hope I have offended no one and everyone at the same time. When you are a person like me, you do shit like that. Either way, leave me a message in the comment section below. Share this crappy article and follow me on Twitter @TheRealJoyRene.

Yep, you're welcome!

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