Top 5 Things I Will Do With My Powerball Winnings

Top 5 Things I Will Do With My Powerball Winnings

Sure, I haven't won the Powerball yet but I am pretty confident I will be the lucky winner. As soon as I do (right after I change my phone number), I will knock these top 5 uses of my millions from my list.

1. Pay my City of Chicago parking tickets in old, smelly pennies:

I will pay off the City of Chicago parking tickets in large bags of tarnished, glued-together copper pennies.  Of course, I would pay it in person by politely asking for the balanced owed and wheel barreling the sacks of pennies in.  The pennies would be dumped on the counter in front of an overpaid, gum chewing employee.  While counting the pennies out in a different language, I'll get about 20 dollars in before I swear, "Shit" and ask to start over.

2. Quit my job in a creative way:

Don't you love the person who swears they would continue working if they ever won the lottery? They start with the bullshit: "Oh yes, I love working so much, I'd just keep my job."  It really makes you want to smack them for lying.  We all know damn well that if they received a 200-plus million dollar payout, they'd be a damned fool to go to work the morning after...to actually WORK.

I will not lie to you..I would go to my job the next day..to QUIT.  However, I couldn't just politely give my notice, I figure I'd have to go out with a bang.  I imagine hiring the Grambling State marching band to escort me into my office playing a fight song.  The paper curtain would present and I would run through it and yell through a bullhorn, "I'm out of this bitch!!!"

I would then drop the bullhorn, do a two-step and then walk out.

As you can see, I am still in the beginning stages of proper planning and choreography. I am still trying to find a way to incorporate Cirque Du Soleil and pyrotechnics.

Too much?

3. Buy Absolutely Nothing With My Winnings For One Month:

My father had a friend who won 7 million dollars in the lottery about 10 years ago.  Fast forward to 2012 and the guy is on welfare.  What happened to his money involved a lot of people..mostly family asking for loans and handouts.  He invested freely into commodities he knew nothing about.

I would wait a full month before buying anything big and create an effective plan to maintaining my wealth...which means I'd have to pay for the marching band from my money..PRE-POWERBALL.

Gawd.

4. Become A Charity..Not Donate To One:

It would be my pleasure as a multimillionaire to help those in need.  However, I wouldn't donate directly to organizations who use the majority of monetary donations to cover administrative costs.  Of course, I understand that these organizations have employees and those employees must be paid.  Yet, I think my dollar would go much further if I gave it directly to the needy.  I would help students in their last year of college be able to afford a move to a new city by setting them up with rent for a new place and utilities paid for a year.  I would reach the homeless by building halfway houses that not only provide a place to stay but also a doorway to learning a new trade.

The possibilities to giving are endless.

5. Buy A Home Somewhere WARM:

Yes, my heart will always be in Illinois but only during the warm months will my BODY be here.  I would spend the winter months living it up in a tropical climate.  There is no way in hell that I will ever deal with a brutal Chicago winter again.  Just a lovely perk of being a millionaire.

 

What would you do if you won millions of dollars? Post your plans below and while you're at it, follow me on Twitter @TheRealJoyRene

Yep!  You're welcome!

 


 

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