I came to Chicago from Joliet some years ago and was able to see the differences between regular logic and the insane logic of a Chicagoan. If you are a born and bred native of Chicago, then I apologize in advance for any hurt feelings that may result from this post.
If you know anything about me at all, you will know that Chicago has ruined me. Here I was the good, Catholic school girl with no idea of how to use a curse word transformed into the sailor-mouthed mess I am today.
Thanks, Chicago, I f*cking mean it.
Anyhow, here is my analysis of the Mentality of A Chicagoan:
#1. You can't drive worth sh*t.
If anyone has ever held on to the grip bar inside your vehicle while riding with you should be an indicator that you are a Chicago driver.
#2. You can drink anyone under the table.
I have seen 90 lb women drink their weight in booze and shake it off like it isn't anything at all. They are true Chicagoans.
#3. You don't pay full price for anything.
"Dude, this can has a dent in it," resulted in a guy getting a 50 cent can of Pink Salmon. Even though the food inside was A-Ok..Mr. Chicagoan fought for the discount since it didn't match his other non-dented cans.
#4. There is no such thing as a "Scared White Kid."
In other areas of the world, a white kid in an urban setting would be the victim of many beatings, jokes and other misfortunes.
Not here in Chicago.
White kids kick ass.
I'll never forget the time I was sitting on the bus when a young white guy sat down. A group of Hispanic teenagers got on and immediately started rustling the white guy's feathers.
One of the Hispanic kids called the white guy a "Pollack" and all hell broke lose.
The white kid gave two black eyes and belt whipped one kid plus scored an iPhone one of the bullies dropped while running off of the bus.
"Now, who else wants to f*ck with Jim Salinski?"
A shirtless Jim Salinski got some em-effin respect..that much I know.
I also knew I didn't want to f*ck with Jim Salinski.
I took notes.
#5. You don't run from commotion, you head toward it.
Chicagoans are known for being action magnets. Let a fight break out between a Cub and Sox fan, I guarantee you, sides will be taken. Even if you don't know the guy getting beat up...if he's a Cubs fan and so are you, you're jumping in.
Well, this is my analysis of the Chicagoan.
Please feel free to leave any comments below and while you are at it, follow me on Twitter @TheRealJoyRene..
Yep, you're welcome!