Ode To Whomever Steals My Tribune Every Sunday Morning.

Damn you.

The Tribune is cheap enough for you to get your own subscription.

I hope you lose the coupons inside and are forced to pay full price...forever.

I am working on a way to catch you.

Imagine an imaginary string or a cage that drops down on you as you step on my porch to steal my Sunday indulgence.

You probably do not read the lovely arts section or giggle while reading the comics.

Do you even care about the free extreme sports magazine?

Damn you.
Damn you.

Someday, we will meet and I am going to demand payment for what you have enjoyed on my dime.

I should not have to wake up at 4:00 AM to be assured my paper is there.

Damn you again!

The End

Thanks for reading and leave your comments in the section below. While you are doing that, follow me on Twitter @TheRealJoyRene.

Yep, you're welcome!


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  • You got to be ready with a bucket of hot water and bleach. I caught the mailman who was putting my mail in other people's boxes and just throwing it into the walkway. I got to cuss them out and I got them taken off of that route.

  • In reply to Evan Moore:


    Yeah bleach and hot water. Lol I dont think it will fly well in court if i use tribune theft as a motive.

    ...but you are moving in the right direction.

  • Do you actually read the sports magazine? It is one of the first things I throw out when it is in the paper. I can start sending you mine.

  • In reply to David W. Quinn:

    Yes I do read the sports mag. I absolutely love sports and that was a plus for me.

  • That sucks, Joy--especially if it's one of your neighbors. Neighbors are supposed to look out for one another, not STEAL from each other!

    Just an fyi, I gave up my paper Trib subscription years ago and use online news sources exclusively. I know it's not the same as being able to kick back at the kitchen table with the Arts section or looking through all those ads, but an online subscription might help you preserve your sanity. ;-)

  • In reply to Rogers Parker:

    I hear you loud and clear but getting the Sunday paper awakens great memories for me. It is just a preference I guess

  • Unless you are paying $1.95 for the coupons, you can get the rest free on the Web. Since you are posting on a blog, I assume you have access to the Internet.

    There are ways of getting the coupons and comics on the web, too.

  • In reply to jack:

    Yeah I know the internet has it all but there is something nostalgic in getting my Sunday paper. It is a tradition.

  • either cancel your subscription or go to Starbucks and steal one of their papers.

  • In reply to ejhickey:

    I so considered that but most times, the trib has already been stolen by the time i make it to the café.

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