Archive for August 2012

When Produce Kills: A Story About The Onion That Tried To Have Me Wacked.

Sure, you clicked on this link because you wondered what other crazy, off-the-wall post would be lurking here. To you, my stories probably sound like made-up pieces of crap that I scribbled on bar napkins while high on crack. Be assured: This is a true story. I can’t make this shit up if I tried.... Read more »

Quick Cup o' Joe & Short But True Story With Joy: A South Side Exclusive 8/31/2012

So, I am at a red light this morning on my way to the gig and a white work van pulls up next to me with two men inside: Driver: “Pssst…Pssst.” (Trying to get my attention) Me: “Can I help you?” (Highly annoyed). Driver: “I want to f@ck you.” Me: “Won’t your boyfriend sitting next... Read more »

I Hate You! A South Side Rant.

Ok, so I don’t hate YOU personally. Yet there are some things you (and others) do that I hate. We are friends now and you have followed me for a few posts so we understand each other. Right? Good. Of course I know that HATE is an awful word but it must apply here. There... Read more »
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Overheard On The South Side 8/21/2012

“These bus drivers are looking more and more like sumo wrestlers.” –51st and Cottage Stop “Why the hell are you giving me half-scoops of tuna? Round them shits out.” – Subway 63rd and Kedzie “My mom says I look like my dad but she doesn’t know who my dad is.” -Spectrum Bar on Halsted in... Read more »

South Side Woman's Guide To Being Sexy: Step by Step Instruction

Sure, you’re attractive enough. There are a lot of guys that pay attention to you and many may slide you their number. However, there is something missing: You haven’t got your sexy under control. It hasn’t been cultivated and it is lying dormant under years of society placed restraints and laws. Now this “sexy” I... Read more »

The Jack & Jill Radio Show: Chicago's Late Night Music Indulgence

The Jack & Jill Radio Show: Chicago's Late Night Music Indulgence
Clarence (DJ CEEZ) Jones and Jeanene Thompson are the voices and personalities behind The Jack & Jill Radio Show on the airways via WNUR 89.3 Evanston early Thursday mornings from 1:00 am until 3:00 am. The duo, a great yin and yang of attitude, tastes and humor, are like drug pushers: Giving House & Hip-Hop... Read more »
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Overheard On The South Side - August 8, 2012

“Why does she think she looks good? Who in the fu@k wears Ugg Boots in August?” — Green Line near 35th St. “Liar, you know these Chinese people don’t eat the stuff here at the buffet. You see their skinny asses eating vegetables in the back.” – Hibatchi Buffet, Bedford Park, IL “Women everywhere are... Read more »

2:00 AM, Drunk & Hungry? 5 Best Places In Chicago To Fill Your Drunken Belly

2:00 AM, Drunk & Hungry?  5 Best Places In Chicago To Fill Your Drunken Belly
You’ve been out drinking and this is about the time your head starts to spin. Your designated driver hates you. You keep saying, “I love you, man!” Someone keeps spinning the ceiling. It’s 2:00 AM, do you know where your appetite is? It is true, eating a good solid meal and downing two to three... Read more »