The Crosstown Classic is here and we Sox fans have to travel to Wrigleyville this morning to cheer on our beloved team! Like every other year, we have to be faced with the insults and name calling. Let me tell you, we will not take it anymore! I am going to debunk the South Side Sox Fan Stereotypes that have plagued us for years:
#1. We are NOT fall down, sloppy drunks.
I have NEVER fallen down while drunk and I try to keep my hair in place by keeping a twin can holster beer hat on my head. I wouldn't call that "sloppy". Besides, I have gone out with Cub fans and they have introduced me to a higher level of drinking. It's called bar hopping. After hitting two bars on Division, I call it pub crawling. We Sox fans have a thing called "Bar Hugging". We hit one bar, make friends with everyone there and hug it out with everyone before we leave.
#2. Our Women Are NOT Loose.
Female Sox fans are not easy. Just because I lift my shirt up and yell, "Woooo!" while jumping around, does not mean you can take me home. It just means my boobs are better than your girlfriend's who happens to be wearing a Cubs shirt. It's sort of a provocation in the FANimal wilderness. I am marking my territory.
#3. Sox Fans Are Brawlers
Ok, Sox Fans do not fight EVERYWHERE. We only fight when appropriate. An insult toward any one on the lineup, managers, past or present and even bat boys is like saying, "Yo mama." If someone said, "Yo mama" to you, you would fight, right? I'm not saying it is a good thing to do, I'm just saying, keep my mama's name (lineup, managers, bat boys, concession stand workers, janitors, hotdog vendor) out of your mouth...with a smile on my face
#4. South Siders Are Sore Losers
Ok, this is how I reacted when we lost our spot in the playoffs: Imagine People's Hernandez in Shaft. It's a little graphic, so click with caution. Yet, I am one fan, not millions. We don't all react this way.
Listen (or read), South Side Sox Fans are peaceful human beings who just have an undying (stalker-like) love for our team. Don't fight with us..just hug it out, man. We'll be at the neighborhood bar if you need us...
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