And so it came to pass on this Monday night, April 18, 2011, the God of the Hebrews looked down upon his children in the land of Chicago. He had taken pity for their tragic loss of another chance to the Super Bowl barely 4 months ago, at the hand of their most despised rival, in the distant land of the Cheeseheads.
This God of Abraham could only see sorrow in the Valley of Tears, as their beloved Blackhawks were now walking through the Desert of No Return. He has seen their days of glory slip away, along with a chance to once again raise the Silver Cup and drink fruit of the vine from thy Lord (Stanley) this year. He wonders: Dustin Byfuglien and Andrew Ladd - where art thou?
This God, who has watched over his children for 5771 years, continues to thunder and storm from Mt. Sinai, as their Chicago White Sox and Cubs are once again worshiping idols, such as their relief pitchers and high-priced hitters.
He has seen the glory days of Mayor Daley bestowing a parade and World Series Trophy on thy White Sox, but foretells of Mayor Emanuel wandering through the desert with his Cubs for 40 years. They are disbelievers, erecting a yellow noodle to worship in front of Wrigley Field. Thus, wander they must, until another generation has passed, and the noodle is removed.
Yet, God is smiling with his children in Chicago tonight, this night of April 18, 2011 and the 14th of Nissan, 5771. He has watched the houses of Reinsdorf and Paxson build a Chicago Bulls basketball team more worthy than none other. And this pleases him.
Our Almighty has judged the character, skills, team play, strong will, perseverance, and Coach Tom Thibodeau's defense. He has studied their hard work for 82 games, their MVP in Derek Rose, and his children named Noah, Deng, Korver, Boozer, and Thomas.
And He, who has reason to be be joyful once again on his sports fans in Chicago, was reminded of a move in 1993 by Michael Jordan, passing off to John Paxson for a 3 point shot to win a championship in Phoenix, just as Rose passed off to Korver for the winning 3 point basket in Game 1 v. Indiana on Saturday.
The Lord has seen that this City of Chicago, above all other basketball cities, has no plague against them. The Los Angeles Lakers have the homophobia of Kobe; The Miami Heat have the delusions and arrogance of LeBron, Wade, and Bosh.
The City of Boston will forever be tainted with their 3 time steroid user in Manny Ramirez,along with trading Kendrick Perkins. This does not please the Lord, to bestow his blessings on the Celtics.
And so it shall come to pass. This evening, as the the Diaspora of Hebrews around the World are gathered together in song and prayer for their traditional Seder, with family and friends, they are telling the story of their exodus to freedom. They are also saddened by peoples throughout the world today, who continue to remain oppressed. They pray for their freedom as well.
And tonight, the Almighty will hear the prayers of Chicago Sports fans for their Chicago Bulls: no injuries, stellar bench play, few turnovers, high number of assists, and record-setting offensive rebound numbers, for the next 2 months.
And He, who is a fair and just Lord, will be smiling from Mt. Sinai to the Shores of Lake Michigan. And He will answer their prayers.