First of all, a big, fat HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all of my beautiful mom friends! I hope you have a wonderful upcoming day, month and year...
Okay, so there are lots of blogging moms out there these days who talk about the "dark" side of motherhood. They utilize colorful language and talk about all things personal. They have huge followings, big book deals, and many, many women chomping at the bit for more. A few of them are my friends, and they are indeed often quite hilarious.
While I, of course, partake in many of the not so positive aspects of motherhood, too, my focus is innately on the profound rather than the profane. It's just who I am. It's what naturally desires to be expressed through me. It's "Annieness" plain and simple.
BUT, I thought it would be kinda fun to write a blended Mother's Day post—as we are blended beings after all—where I try my hand at expressing the AND/BOTH nature of motherhood, in this regard.
My family warned me that this idea might flop. They didn't know if I could pull off the funny, dark side part. Truthfully, I don't know if I can pull off the funny, dark side part either as I am not used to contemplating the world from that vantage point, although I can certainly relate to it.
While I am going to try to do something a little different here, the other bloggers mentioned earlier curse freely, relish snark and share raunchiness without batting an eye. Their real life observations often make me laugh out loud. And yet, I gotta say, I just don't think that type of wit is gonna flow through me to my fingertips. Wait for it, wait for it... Nope, I know it won't.
In the right setting, I can be as loose as they come, but we all have our lines as to where and how we let it all hang out. It would scream forced and inauthentic if I were to turn overly foul-mouthed and raunchy in a public forum. It's simply not my way.
That being said, I am going to put myself out there and give the dark side a whirl, too. Not sure what will come out. This could be interesting or downright bomb.
Here goes! The following is my AND/BOTH list of ten things that I desire for Mother's Day:
1) A month of never having to drag myself off of the couch and away from my favorite show (American Idol) to pick up yet another carpool of sweaty kids AND the opportunity to drive my wonderful children and their friends around forever.
2) Anyone, ANYONE, besides me to feed and walk our matted, bad-breathed dog AND the opportunity to walk and feed my sweet little pooch forever.
3) A laundress to wash the ten loads of stinky socks and crusty drawers each week AND the opportunity to clean my beloved children's and husband's clothes forever.
4) A year without packing one more damn lunch before I have brushed my teeth or had my coffee AND the opportunity to feed my healthy children well forever.
5) A kid's free vacation where I can chill with my husband in all of the ways that we love to chill AND the opportunity to vacation with my whole fun family forever.
6) A break from attending so many sometimes tedious youth sporting events while sitting on hard bleachers AND the opportunity to watch my sweet kids play sports forever.
7) A chance to sleep in on the weekends and then awaken to make only my own breakfast AND the opportunity to make chocolate chip pancakes for a full table forever.
8) A house full of tidy rooms with no wet towels rotting on the floor AND the opportunity to peer into my kids' lived-in, messy rooms forever.
9) Easy, small grocery runs of mostly salad makings, dark chocolate, wine and cheese AND the opportunity to fill grocery carts to the brim with all kinds of yum weekly forever.
10) The time to focus on only my work, interests and passions each day without an endless, annoying chore list AND the opportunity to share my life intimately with my children in shared living quarters forever.
Ha! Good thing I only said a list of ten. OMG! So not funny! Painfully difficult! Epic fail! Hardest blog I have ever written. The deep typically rolls out of me like melted butter off of a plate, but this attempt at the humorous and dark and then the true, but cheesy positive spin of forever... Really hard for me and really not very good:)
I am posting anyway cuz it feels good for some reason to do so. I have wondered every now and then just what it would be like for me to move in a different direction, offer a different perspective, one that seems to be much more appealing, to the mainstream, anyway. You know, include more vulgar, underbelly life stuff. But good grief, so not me! Thank goodness there is a place for all of us to express ourselves in our own way is all I can say.
Very enlightening to try something different though. I highly recommend it! Laughing out loud at myself right now...
Just remember, 3 billion mothers, 3 billion ways to mother and share!
Warmth and LOVE,
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