Okay, before I ruffle any peacock feathers, right off the bat with this blog, I must say that I am most certainly NOT speaking to many, many men, and probably especially not to the men who are on a self-exploratory path and who are obviously quite open to personal growth.
In fact, there are many men who are indeed leading the spiritual development movement in our world today including, Neale Donald Walsch, Eckhart Tolle, and Mastin Kipp.
However, there is a valid concern that I have encountered over and over again both in my work as a soul nurturer, as well as sometimes in my social life (like say at a dinner party when I dare to steer the topic towards, gasp, spirituality) that I feel must be addressed. NOW!
The most consistent question that I am asked at my "Soul to Soul" talks is "What do I do if I am thoroughly enjoying the inner growth process and my husband totally rejects self-exploration as a worthy pursuit?
And further, "How do I offer my children the opportunity to expand from all that I am coming to feel as true deep in my soul when my husband desires to remain in a more five-sensory mindset and puts down my efforts as totally out there and without merit?" (I have even heard the term "witchcraft" said in jest, but more times than I care to recall.)
When I first started out speaking to groups and running Soul Circles, I always responded with the advice that we cannot pull others along a spiritual path as it is one that takes us on an intimate and deeply personal journey through our own interior.
Everyone has a right to self-realize in their own time and in their own way. Simply proceed along the path with enthusiasm, empowerment and freedom allowing a new state of being that arises from within and emanates outward to speak for itself.
It has been my belief that if we can at least get an unwilling spouse/partner not to belittle our spiritual unfoldment and accept it, if not cheer us on, then we will be on our way with a neutral vibe surrounding this topic in the relationship.
While I continue to utter these very same words each and every time I am broached with this truly heartfelt dilemma, today I am going further and wider in my approach. I am calling out to all men who see themselves in these words to love their woman enough to allow her to expand, evolve and grow into the consciously spirit-embodied individual that we are all meant to be.
Frankly, I am tired of seeing these beautiful women who come to me with utter excitement at all that they are coming to discover within themselves, coupled with true hurt in their eyes and pain in their heart that the one person whom they hoped would be their greatest cheerleader and support meets them with the most resistance and downright condescension.
It is a heavy burden. (It must be noted that this is not just a man/woman dynamic. Another quite common question is opening to girlfriends who "tear down" and diminish the joy, excitement and the desire to share from the inside out that often accompanies personal growth.)
As a caveat, I must add that due to the nature of the "new spirituality" that is exploding on our planet today, the sharing that these women desire with their beloveds is not in the vibration of my way is the only way.
From what I have experienced myself and seen in so many others, the longing is simply acknowledgement, encouragement and genuine happiness for us to BLOOM into the most beautiful, unique garden that our soul is leading us to become.
Perhaps it is time to view our marriages and partnerships as two ever-growing skyscrapers that face one another in full view of the other and that are connected in the heart-space with an unseen, yet deeply felt energetic cord.
The sun bathes them in light as they recognize each other as both individual entities AND as one. Always there is an allowance that each skyscraper can reach as high, as far, and as wide as she/he desires without fear of ridicule or need to apologize for the desire to grow.
Men, if you see yourself in these words, PLEASE STOP. Open your heart. It's time!
Let your woman grow. Her growth will thread throughout the family in unimaginable ways uplifting all, both individually and collectively.
And, her newfound self-love and deepened sense of ONENESS will, in turn, change our world...
Thank you! Sometimes we all just have to get something off of our chest EVEN when we fully understand that WE ARE ALL ONE:)