At the beginning of a courtship, we all tell little white lies to make ourselves more appealing to our new love interest. If a relationship develops, and the little white lie is uncovered, you usually laughed it off, flattered that your now boyfriend or girlfriend stretched the truth to impress you. There are some instances however, where a little relationship white lie becomes a real liability. A recent experience has me asking; at what point in the dating process should a potential liability be revealed?
Cathy and Robert had been dating for four months when she decided it was time to “take it to the next level.” Cathy was amazed by her ability to hold out this long. Not that she was promiscuous, but she and Robert had phone sex about three times a week for the past month. In each of their sessions, he described in detail how he would pleasure her. He told her where to touch, squeeze, and linger; each night brought Cathy to a higher level of orgasm. If he could do this over the phone, she thought…
A Brazilian wax and bottle of champagne, was all of the foreplay Cathy needed. Robert quickly rose to her expectations but fell as fast a Chaz Bono’s dancing career. Confusion. His explanation. Her understanding… these things happen.
If at first you don’t succeed… Three days later the Brazilian had started to grow back, and Cathy figured she better get her money’s worth. She tried again. A lot of vodka for her, nothing for him, that could have been the problem. Robert stood firm. Joy! Joy! His joy lasted 30 seconds and Robert surrendered, smiled, and seemed to doze off. Confusion. His apology. Her quiet frustration.
Three’s the charm, so Cathy tried one more time when she had an “ah hell” moment. “Ah hell,” Cathy’s call to me began, “Did he know he had a problem? Did he think he could work it out in me? Where was the phone sex guy? Do you think it was stress, he’s only 42? He must have known. He said this started about four months ago, right before we started dating. No, he doesn’t want to try Viagra. Not Cialis either? Ginger, does that work? I tried to get him to the doctor. I Googled it, he has E.D. Did you know that erectile dysfunction affects over 30,000 million men? It can happen as early as 40. And if he knew, why did he try it on me? What am I a test dummy? Ah, hell, I’m dating Mr. ED.