This year, our summer is 3+ months long: end of May until early September. Part of me loves that; part of me is mama deer in headlights.
Here is my game plan for the Longest. Summer. Ever.
First of all, my husband is fine. This is not a story of balls gone wrong, so sorry to disappoint. Nor is this a surprise-we're-having-a-fourth-baby announcement. What we were not expecting was our seven year old's reaction...
7 year old: But WHY did you have surgery, Daddy?
Daddy: Well, there's a procedure that a doctor can do that makes it so you can't have any more babies.
Our oldest son's eyes went wide. He stared up at my husband, and then found his way down to me, playing on the floor with the baby.
7 year old: ...no more babies...?
He burst into tears and crumpled to the floor. My husband and I looked at each other, shocked. Neither of us had told the kids the specifics, and neither of us had expected this.
Me: Oh, buddy...
I pulled him toward me, and he let himself be wrapped in my arms. He nuzzled his face into my shoulder and I could feel the trickle of tears and hear his little sniffles.
We sat there on the kitchen floor, and I held my seven year old in the same way that I've been holding my almost-one year old. It is a strange stage of parenting in which we find ourselves...
"Where can I let go in 2019?"
That's a question I've asked myself lately, as I'm feeling tension between my boys and within me. Basically, I often want things to be different than they are. You could also call it not accepting my reality or having way too high of expectations. So, here's my plan for 2019...
Here are five chores to teach your kids this summer. I recommend having low expectations, some favorite kids' songs, and a bottle of wine on hand.
Keep in mind that some chores take 5-50 times to learn. I've broken chores down into several age-appropriate skills. When it comes to chores, imagine a scaffold. Your kid isn't going to wash all the dishes on day one. Start at the bottom and work your way up.
You may be surprised: this past Christmas, my husband let our 6 1/2 year old help with Christmas lights. For our son, he got to go on the roof with Dad. For my husband, he had an extra set of hands, and someone to talk to. Chores can be a bonding experience. Or, they can suck, too. Low expectations, remember? :)...
Baby Boy #3 is two months old, and my husband and I have been blown away by the kindness of our friends and family. Here are five gifts for the parents who just brought home a bundle of joy A home cooked meal. The appreciation of this gift cannot be overstated. My husband and I... Read more »
After the Sandy Hook shooting, one father's recounting of his final minutes with his son has always stuck with me: He stayed home a little longer before heading into work. His son was practicing piano, and he sat down next to him to listen. They played a few tunes together. That was it. Nothing epic. Just an every day occurrence; probably one that his son complained about doing, if he was anything like my six year old. And one that he never got to do again.
When my son started full day Kindergarten this year, I knew that I would miss him like crazy. My intention was to spend at least 10 uninterrupted minutes with him before he left for school. On those mornings, when we get everything right, I am so grateful for these moments. We laugh together, and I send him off with a big bear hug. On those mornings when nothing goes right and we miss out on our precious moments, I'm flooded with guilt, and remember the Sandy Hook's dad's words. What if this was my last morning with my son?
You can call them resolutions, goals, newfound awareness, whatever. Here are five ways I suck as a mom...and what I'm doing about it.
1) I have unrealistic expectations.
This applies to me, my husband, and my children. Expectations can be extremely helpful. But for an anal retentive type A planner like myself, they often disappoint me. A few months ago, I was regularly feeling angry, annoyed, and frustrated more than I would care to admit. In almost every instance, I could trace it back to having an unrealistic expectation.
What I'm doing about it:
First, I'm identifying what I think will happen in a given situation. Then I'm asking myself, "How could this play out in a way that I'm not expecting?"
It sounds simple, but it's made a huge difference...
Are you wondering what to get the kids for Christmas, but you realize that they don't need anything? And while the thought of more stuff makes you want to cry, the idea of awkwardly asking your family to NOT give presents makes your palms sweat?
Here are five Christmas gifts that won't annoy Mom
(and will still allow the giver to give something
Dear Difficult Child,
Thank you for your many lessons. I was really starting to think that I was an amazing parent, based on your older brother, but now I realize that he is just a people pleaser who happens to be fairly EASY. You are neither of those things. But I want to thank you...
When the random lady at the grocery store screamed, "Would you SHUT UP?!"
to my two year old, it confirmed three things:
The first was that people were judging me. Hard. How do I know? Because: Hi, my name is Erin, and I'm a recovering "judger" of other moms.
My kid's screams would make strangers' heads turn, and make me want to hide my own under a rock. I'd pretend not to hear the annoyed "wow's"
whispered in my direction. Several years ago, that would have been me, rolling my
eyes and muttering under my
breath. While that's hard to admit, I was definitely guilty of judging others. So I knew now that I
was the one being judged.
When the random lady at the store screamed, "Would you SHUT UP?!"
to my little kid, it also confirmed... that he was- and is- LOUD. I don't doubt that every parent thinks his or her child can break the sound barrier. What I do
know is that my son's scream is what it would sound like if a pterodactyl and a rooster had a baby, and then this creature infused its voice with essence of ambulance siren.
When the lady at the store screamed, "Would you SHUT UP?!"
to my son, it also confirmed, to my surprise, that people were on my side