"Where can I let go in 2019?"
That's a question I've asked myself lately, as I'm feeling tension between my boys and within me. Basically, I often want things to be different than they are. You could also call it not accepting my reality or having way too high of expectations. So, here's my plan for 2019:
HUSBAND: Minimize the micromanaging. I'm with the kids 95% of the time, so I know a lot more about our children's routines. While it's fine to inform him of said routine, I go overboard with details. When I want to give advice, I will first ask myself if this is helpful to my husband, or do I just want it done my way?
OLDEST KID: Take the stick out of my eye first. I don't pretend to be a daily Bible reader, but Matthew 7:5 has stuck with me:
First, take the log out of your own eye; then you will see clearly, so you can remove the splinter from your brother's eye.
I am constantly commenting to my oldest about why he isn't nicer to my middle son. First of all, I am not a pillar of patience with boy #2, so I'm not modeling it. Secondly, in criticizing the biggest brother, I'm doing exactly what I don't want him doing to his brother. When I want to yell at the oldest for not being kind to the middle brother, I will ask myself how I can show him kindness.
MIDDLE KID: Know when to hold him, when to fold him, when to walk away, when to run. Man...I just really need to decide what is important to me and what isn't with this guy. I change my mind from day to day, and that's a problem: it makes things confusing to a four year old, and it drives me insane. When I want him to do something, I will ask myself if it's a must-do. (Note to self: create must-do list. Is taking him to the bathroom every two hours on there, or can I live with sort of peed-on underwear for all of eternity?)
YOUNGEST KID: Accept a little help from formula/store bought baby food. I'm going on my first trip next week since the baby was born. He's now 10 months old, and I've introduced formula, since I won't have enough breast milk for the four- yes, FOUR- days away. When I want to take something off my plate, I will ask myself if pumping/baby food prep is something I'm willing to give up, or will my guilt be too strong for it to be worth it? Because you KNOW can't none of us escape that mom guilt completely!
So, I just need to do all of those things, and I'll be the perfect mom and wife! Yeah...um, I kind of think that giving up wine would be easier (gasp!). Will someone check on me in a few months, to hold me accountable for these? What are your resolutions for 2019?