One morning, after visiting our friends, Maribeth and Steve, Junior and I were having breakfast. Very matter-of-factly, he looked up from his oatmeal and declared,
"I'm going to marry Daddy."
"Oh?" I replied. "And if you marry Daddy, then who will Mommy marry?"
"You can marry Maribeth."
"Hmm...okay. Then who will Steve marry?"
"He's gonna marry Winston." (their male dog)
"And what about Sophie?" (our female dog)
"She can marry Daisy!" As in, Daisy Duck. Obviously.
While I do believe that bestiality is crossing the line, and it's clear that my kid is not into threesomes, his point is this:
"Everyone needs a honey."
Yes, Junior. Needs and deserves to be with said honey.
Around age one, I started using the word "honey" to describe a friend or family member's significant other. There were two reasons for this:
- We have a lot of gay friends.
- It's unisex; much easier than girlfriend/boyfriend and husband/wife.
The basic concept, and my child's takeaway, is that everyone gets paired up. People are happy that way.
While I'm sure that we're not out of the
closet woods with all the possible questions, he has never, ever once asked why Uncle Andy's honey is Uncle Tommy and why Mommy's honey is Daddy. That's just the way it is; that's his normal.
I've had to answer more questions because of Adele's "Someone Like You" song than I have for gay marriage:
"Who's singing, Mommy?"
"The singer's name is Adele."
"She sounds sad. Why is she sad?"
"Because her honey doesn't want to be honeys anymore."
He gives me a look of bewilderment, then asks, "Why doesn't he want to be honeys anymore?"
I realized that my kid is going to have more difficulty when people break up rather than who they break up with. (Yeah, I ended my sentence with a preposition. It's cool now. Look it up.)
From age 2 to 3, Junior didn't grasp the significance behind the rainbow flag that lingered in his playroom for months. He didn't understand why Mommy let him give heart stickers to every passerby at that one Sunday parade last June. At DisneyWorld, he was more excited that those two ladies holding hands were also wearing matching white Minnie Mouse ears and veils than he was to tell them, "Congratulations!"
But he didn't bat an eye at any of it.
Lesson learned: "Everyone needs a honey."
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