Slut-Shaming Shaming and Fat-Shaming Shaming: A How-To Guide

There are a lot of amateurs out there accusing others of slut-shaming and fat-shaming. These slut-shaming and fat-shaming shamers should...well...be ashamed.

Be aware: you don't become a professional slut-shaming or fat-shaming shamer overnight. It takes years of negativity, blind judgment, and accidentally insulting your friends. Remember, it's not a proper shaming unless you've left the original shamer feeling guilty or inferior.

My husband and I have co-written a how-to guide as a reference:

5 Simple Steps to Becoming a Slut-Shaming or Fat-Shaming Shamer:

1) Do not make any attempt to consider the context of the original shamer's remarks. Instead...

2) Wildly exaggerate any word or image she presents. Next...

3) Detract from the point she is making, and blame her for the larger problem with society. Finally...

4) Highlight your own personal journey. If all else fails...

5) Accuse her of being racist. All Asians are skinny. Don't pretend like it's hard to maintain a six pack, Mrs. KANG.

Don't stop at slut shaming and fat shaming. Look at CNN: murder-shaming left and right. Weekly, we let ESPN off the hook for strikeout-shaming, fumble-shaming, and turnover-shaming.

Now, more than ever, we must be on our "A" game. We've already fallen behind China in math and science. Let us not fall behind in shaming as well.

Rise up, shamers! And as you do so, please push others down. Otherwise, we'll be ashamed at the lack of our shaming the slut-shaming, fat-shaming shamers.

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