Hair raising tales of a massage therapist

Here I am providing chair massage to participants of the 2014 Portage Park 5K Run. I am in charge of organizing the massage tent.

As many of you know, my day job is that of a licensed massage therapist. That is a subject that I don't often blog about, but the events of the past few weeks have precipitated a need for me to vent.

I have been a therapist for almost 20 years; I believe the average career expectancy for a massage therapist is 5-7 years, so I have surpassed that and then some. I have been looking to make a career change, but can't figure out what I want to be when I grow up now that my 61st birthday is approaching. I have always been a late bloomer. New Mom at 46????

I won't make any bones about the fact that it is bloody hard work if you are doing deep tissue massage, especially if you have a client who is tighter than a is like massaging concrete...or one who utters the words that make me shudder "you can go as hard as you want." My internal response to that is "now, why the hell would I want to do that to myself?" Harder is not necessarily better, especially if the muscles are contracting in response to work that is too deep. I ALWAYS listen to the body rather than to the brain!

Then, there is the assumption that we massage therapists LOVE what we do SO MUCH that we are only too happy to work for free by volunteering at every charitable event on the planet. Yeah, I got bills that have to be paid. No, I really won't get several paying clients as a result of volunteering at your event. It never happens. Not once. Ever. In almost 20 years Got it? And in what other profession, are people expected to work for free? Try asking your doctor. See what he says. Yeah. I thought so.


I could go on and on; 20 years worth of venting...but a text that I received last week inspired this post.

Here is the text conversation verbatim:

He: Hello, my name is Wilbert i will like to know if you do body massage?

Big red flag and the text area code is in Canada

Me: What does that mean? Where are you calling from? How did you get my number?

He: website and i will like to have Swedish massage for 8 of my client between 7th and 8th April, how much will that cost?

Me: Where?

He: have made arrangement with the party planner driver that will bring 4 people per day for 2 consecutive days to your shop. Kindly get back to me with the price per person and type of credit card you accept as payment?

Me: I don't have shop. I only do housecalls

He: Don't you have a venue we can use?

Me: No.

He: Ok. I will look for an hotel we can use. How much do you charge per hour?

Me: No. Not interested. Don't contact me again
And you all thought the life of a massage therapist was exciting and glamorous! Yeah. I'm a complete idiot and I am prepared to go to a hotel room booked by a complete stranger that texted me from Canada.

Not.Gonna.Happen. Sigh...


Have you ever received any work related scam texts or emails? This is one of the occupational hazards of a massage therapist; anybody else ever encountered similar? I would love to hear your comments.

If you would like to read other posts, here are a few...

Parental Oversharing: How much is too much?

Why I stay home on St. Patrick's Day

Mummy, can I buy this?

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